movie reviews

We've seen 4 movies in 2 weekends since we got back. We wanted to see Superbad but it was sold out so we saw Knocked Up, Judd Apatow's earlier film. I thought it was really funny in parts but I didn't love it. My biggest problem was the lack of explanation for why she decides to keep the baby. It basically cuts from her mom telling her to get rid of it to her telling the guy she's keeping it. An on-air presenter at E! in LA & she wants to get fat? When they specifically asked her to start going to the gym? Not plausible. I also found their love a bit of a stretch. The most incredible part was Ben deciding to step up, grow up & take responsibility for the kid. There may be one 23-year-old unemployed pothead in recent history (since people that age started being considered still kids) who did this in real life, though I doubt it. Those objections aside, it's pretty funny. The dopes Ben lives with are ridiculous & convincing. Debbie (knocked-up Alison's sister) & Pete's marriage is a bit scary but it looks real too. Plus, you can see through Debbie's bitchiness to the deep insecurities underneath. & I like the scene in Vegas where Pete realizes that his problem is he can't accept his wife's love for what it is & has to run away from it. Paul Rudd, who plays Pete, was easily my favorite character in the movie. He's so yummy-looking & just a great actor. & as unrealistic as it is, I can't help cheering for Ben in his transformation from stoner to responsible adult. Thank you Mr. A, for thumbing your nose at the Lost Boys convention of current cinema & making Ben grow up to be a man. 7/10.

The Simpsons movie was really fun. Spiderpig might be the next big meme - I still can't stop laughing when I think of the song. The story wasn't the most logical, but it hung together pretty well. So many good one-liners - "I was elected to lead, not to read," being my favorite. I liked the détente between Bart & Flanders as well. I found Homer's selfish asshole behavior a bit hard to believe, but overall it was funny & worth seeing. Make sure to stay through the credits, they throw in some extra scenes. 8.5/10

The Bourne Ultimatum was jam-packed with action. At this point he pretty much seems magical - whatever he touches does what he wants without putting up too much fuss, whether it be a door, a safe, etc. I did not understand the thing with Julia Stiles; were they together before? That should have been explained, or recapped if it's from the second movie. I loved the action scenes, especially the fight in Morocco where Bourne finally tussles with someone worthy instead of easy henchmen. It was frustrating but realistic to watch Director Vosen (David Strathairn) bulldoze over people's objections & reasoning, insisting that Bourne must have some byzantine plan instead of drawing the logical conclusion that he was anmesiac. Reminds me of a certain issue with WMDs... The movie wrapped up some questions from before but I'll have to read the books I think. I hate that song they play for the credits, it's the musical equivalent of nails on a chalkboard for me. Actually that's exactly what it sounds like. 8.5/10

I saved the best for last. Shoot 'Em Up is so good, it catapulted to my top 5 movies of all time immediately. Comes out Sept 7 - we saw it at a free advance screening. (Don't tell them I told you; we're supposed to keep quiet about it until then. Though I'm pretty sure it's all a cynical ploy to build up word-of-mouth, it's so good I don't care & will happily plug their movie for free.) I've been a huge Clive Owen fan since his debut in the BMW short films & I'm glad he's such a big star now. Oooh, speaking of great drivers - how hot would it be if he had a drive-off & battle movie with Jason Statham? Yum. So this story is completely over the top. Smith (Owen) is drawn into a gun fight to protect a pregnant stranger he sees running for her life. The ensuing firefight is the first scene of the movie & already at that point I knew this movie was something special. He kills one guy with a carrot! Obviously, the shooting isn't terribly realistic, as I know from trying it in Vegas, but the fluidity of the choreograhy is engaging & just breathtaking. When it's over he wants to forget about the baby but he can't, & enlists the help of DQ (Monica Bellucci), a dominatrix specializing in infantilism, because she has milk. He's being tailed by Hertz (Paul Giamatti), who seems to be a crooked police chief. They first meet in the brothel where DQ works (the writer seems to have confused dommes & prostitutes) & exchange some hilarious trash talk after Smith decimates the entire goon squad. Smith fends off increasing numbers of henchmen throughout the movie, trying to follow the clues back to the source, as Hertz gets more & more frustrated - at one point he screams in fury, "Do we suck or is this guy just that good?!" I don't want to give away too much, so I'll just say that this has some of the most creative fight scenes ever ever EVER!!! I can't believe no one's thought of them before. Bellucci is luscious, almost spilling out of her tight clothes, & a perfect foil to Owen's rugged 'tall dark silent' hero. I never liked Giamatti because he's ugly & I detested Sideways with a passion but he's a great villain in this & gained a lot of points with me for finding the perfect blend of camp & serious evil. Be warned, though, there is a tough torture scene towards the end - definitely a finger-peeker. People were cheering & clapping at lots of scenes, it was so great. If you like guns, shootouts, heroes saving people at considerable personal cost because they just can't coldly abandon them, deliciously evil villains & their well-earned come-uppances, creative fights, comedy, or super hot sex scenes, this is so the movie for you. 10/10!

One more thing: Live Free or Die Hard was fucking awesome. I'm sure everyone's seen it by now, so I'll just say that I'm a little Asian bitch who likes to kick people, & yippee ki yay motherfucker it was incredibly cool.