Victoria Falls: 7/10

We flew Jo'burg to Victoria Falls on Friday morning, 7/13. Zimbabwe kind of looks like upstate New York with less trees & more monkeys. Sexy Englishman had us at the Hotel Mercure Rainbow, which turned out to be not bad. We wanted to do activities right away, but the earliest thing we could do was a sunset cruise on the Zambezi so we spent a couple hours relaxing & drinking by the pool. The boat ride turned out to be a booze cruise with hippos, crocodiles & elephants. Apparently elephants swim from the mainland to the little islands in the river quite often to forage. SE & I made friends with some English backpackers on the boat, who invited us to a bar later (as if we weren't drunk enough already). Fortunately we had electricity when we got back to the hotel - it had been turned off before. We decided, probably unwisely, to eat dinner at the bar, which of course we forgot to do. Upon venturing out into the town we promptly got lost despite being told directions. We wandered up & down the main street several times until we decided that a pitch-black road was where we should be; happily, my misgivings were proved wrong when we got to Shoestrings. It's an expat bar at a backpacker's hostel, filled with aid workers, student travelers & assorted other (mostly white) people. Lots of fun. We found some Americans there, pretty much the first we'd met in Africa, & over-indulged in $1 beer & $2 vodka tonics. They love US money in Zimbabwe. Sadly, their Zim dollars are pretty much toilet paper. We got Z$100,000 for US$1 on the street, & according to an Economist published while we there we could have got Z$250,000. The worst part of the hyper-inflation for the citizens is that President Mugabe insists on holding the exchange rate at Z$250:US$1. There's now a "farmer relief" accelerator of 60, so it's 15,000:1 but that's still completely divorced from reality. The funniest thing about the money is that it has a sell-by date. I have a Z$100,000 bill in my wallet that is no longer legal tender, as it expired on 7/31. Good job Mugabe, we all totally believe you're not running your poor starving country into the ground.

The next morning we had a helicopter ride & bungee jump scheduled. Poor SE was much the worse for wear, while I was perky & awake at a ridiculously early hour. (I don't get hangovers.) He managed to make it through the flight without throwing up, fortunately. The Falls are gorgeous. They're the biggest system in the world. Their very appropriate Makololo name is Mosi-oa-Tunya, the Smoke that Thunders. It's amazing how deep & winding a gorge the Zambezi has made for itself. The falls come off a flat plain & that's it, the land looks like a
giant was trying to carve something out. An interlocked series of Zs maybe.

After we got back from that I put SE to bed with some tlc. He's never sick, I'm always the one who needs looking after, so it was really nice to be able to take care of him for once. When he woke up he felt much better & was excited, instead of apprehensive, about the bungee. Well, less apprehensive. I was jumping up & down with anticipation. When we got to the Vic Falls Bridge between Zimbabwe & Zambia it turned out that we could do 2 other activities as well, a gorge swing & slide. Of course little miss Adrenaline Junkie wanted to do everything, so we got all suited up & strapped in - they are reassuringly safety-conscious there - & stepped off the bridge into 4 seconds of free-falling terror. Basically there's a rope running across the gorge with another rope looped around it - we were on the 2nd rope. Once you fall enough there's no more slack & you start swinging off the 1st rope. That's the fun part. The falling is actually quite horrible, especially since we literally stepped off the bridge & fell feet first for what seemed like days. It was so fast we couldn't even scream. After it was over & we weren't dead we felt exhilarated though. The slide was a bit lame, great view of the gorge, & then it was bungee time. Now I was scared & SE was excited. I had a vivid recollection of my stomach being around my ears from 10 minutes before & almost wasn't sure I wanted to do that again. Bungee is better, though, because you "fly" off the platform & can see where you're going instead of falling. It was amazing.

We had a calm, sober night at the hotel. Their lapa was quite good & so was the Ndebele dancing, not that I know much about it. They have some scary-ass costumes.

We played Scrabble later - my 2nd time ever - & I managed to beat SE. He's very good at it so I was well pleased with myself. We went to bed early so we could go to the actual Falls early before our flight on Sunday, since we hadn't actually seen them up close. They were really wet, even though it was the dry season, & quite overwhelming in their sheer volume. I got my fill of rainbows & we got photographic proof that someone has taken the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Or maybe that's just in Zimbabwe - someone has clearly taken their electricity & water as well. We were told it was "rationing" to help the farmers but we had our doubts.

Northeastern South Africa: 8/10

So we got back from Vegas early Saturday morning. We had about 6 hours to pack for the next 4 weeks, although I'd got most of my things together already, & also we had to make sure everything was taken care of for the rest of the month. I managed to stick to my schedule fairly well, despite my extreme tendency to procrastinate when faced with such a large block of time. I arrived at SE's with suitcases in tow early enough to run out & get Travel Scrabble. Yes, we are big dorks who do crosswords, play Scrabble & read the Economist. We got to JFK & through security without mishap & just had to wait a lot. It's 17 hours from New York to Johannesburg - they stop for an hour's refueling in Senegal - which is a hell of a long time. I tried to sleep a lot & power through back issues of the Economist. I've calculated that each issue is roughly the equivalent of a 200 page book, which makes me feel better that I always get behind on it. It comes out every week! I was distracted, however, by lots of naps, Tetris at my seat, & Lady Chatterley's Lover. I can't remember why I thought that book was good the first time I read it. It's not terribly well written, plus Lawrence says some really offensive things about women. I should have remembered that I thought Women in Love was crap too.

We got to Jo'burg after nightfall. People had warned us that it's a very dangerous city & on no account should you stop at traffic lights when it's dark because you might get mugged or carjacked. We rented a car, & let me tell you, Jo'burg is not a good place to get lost at night. They have hardly any street signs, unless we just couldn't see them, & you do have to stop at some lights because other people are going. Usually we only stopped at the ones where there were other cars around though. We were trying to get on a highway & couldn't find the on-ramp! We could see the road above our heads but kept getting lost in dodgier & dodgier areas until we were passing people huddled around small bonfires in tires. At that point I was trying to figure out how to read the map without holding it up or turning on the light so as not to look like tourists & therefore targets. SE's navigational skills prevailed in the end, & we got safely to Thulangi Lodge in Melville, an area of Jo'burg. They were very friendly & our room had a canopied bed! I've wanted one of those since I was a little girl. We had dinner at The Loft, which was great. We just picked it because it looked the nicest & it turned out to be fantastic. The dessert called something like "Mom's homemade" is a must. They have very inventive cocktails as well.

We played Scrabble when we got back to the room & tried to stay warm. South Africa has quite a pleasant winter - it's up to maybe 70˚ during the day - but it gets really cold at night. The bathroom was so frozen by morning that we were like, "Forget it, we'll shower when we get to the next place." We needed some supplies so we stopped by Sandton Mall which was supposed to be quite nice & was. It took about 4 hours to get to Kruger National Park. The N4 highway is reallly nice, better than roads in America. It's very smooth, hardly any cracks, & just seems to unspool for mile after mile. We noticed that South Africans love to tailgate though. (The driving-too-close kind, not beer & hamburgers.) No wonder they have such a horrible accident percentage. The speed limit was usually about 120 kmph (~70mph) & the other drivers were definitely not leaving enough distance to brake without causing a pileup. There were very few cars on the road though, which may have had something to do with the tolls or it being a weekday.

Around evening we finally got to Kruger Park Lodge, after some confusion over whether Skukuza Road was actually the Paul Kruger Gate Road we were looking for. The Lodge is a large complex of chalets including a hippo & crocodile area, its own golf course & a herd of impala. Since it was the off-season we were lucky enough to get a 3-bedroom chalet to ourselves. It was quite overwhelming. We should have brought some friends.

The next morning we arranged evening & day safaris. We had some time before the trip that night & wandered around the very scenic Lodge & into the surrounding town of Hazyview. We also tried to play golf but I didn't have a collared shirt so they wouldn't let me. Finally it was time for our first safari. A guy drove us to the Lion Sands private game reserve right next to Kruger & we were off in a very big Jeep. We had a guide, Andrew, & a spotter, Kruger (yes, I'm sure that's why). It was just me, SE & 2 trainee guides in a Jeep that could comfortably hold 12, so it was great. I pestered Andrew with tons of questions as we looked for animals. We spied a duiker briefly, which is a type of antelope. Then we saw an elephant in the distance. SE & I started snapping pix, amazed at our good fortune since in winter it's not always easy to find the animals. We thought that was cool - Andrew said, "Let's get a closer look!" & vroom drove right into the bush! As we smushed small trees & acacia bushes he explained that the latter have been known to rip holes in tires but elephants chomp happily away on them without any apparent discomfort. We pulled up maybe 30 feet from the elephant, a young bull. It didn't seem bothered at all by our presence, & in fact ate its way closer to us, so close that I really wanted to touch it.
Interestingly, though the animals can see us, the Jeep just looks like a unit to them & they don't really differentiate the people from the vehicle. If you stretch an arm out or stand up, though, they do, & will either run away or charge so everyone has to stay seated at all times.

Some more bush driving later, we saw a mother & baby giraffe, which were just as cute as in cartoons. Next was one of the highlights of our whole trip. We saw a leopard! They are nocturnal & elusive so seeing one up close during daylight is really rare. They are so beautiful. We followed this one around for a while - it was a male that had fed very recently - as it padded lazily along for a bit & then decided on a good lick & nap in a likely patch of tall grass.


Unbelievable. We quickly stopped getting excited about impala, which were as ubiquitous as deer in the US though much lovelier & more graceful. Their legs are so slender they look as though they should break on impact & they have intelligent little faces with very high cheekbones. We also checked off kudu & bushbuck, which are like bigger-boned, wider-eared impala. Andrew pointed out a funny bird that people call the "vomit comet" because that's what it looks like. I guess maybe if you eat blueberries.

As evening fell, we found a skittish rhino family. We tried to get closer but Mommy & Baby wheeled & ran. In the distance we also saw a zebra herd, which was surprising because the South African winter is too cold for them & they should have been up north already. They were even more skittish than the rhinos. Our last big sighting - so 4 of the Big 5* - was 2 males & 1 wounded female lion. The poor thing was limping along on 3 feet, quite gracefully considering. It was pretty much dark & cold at this point, though we managed to spot a bushbaby (tiny weird squirrel-looking thing) & a mongoose. We had dinner at the lapa at the Kruger Gate Protea Hotel which was good. A lapa is a big barbecue-type setup with cold, stew & dessert buffet sections too. SE & I got home tired & happy.
*Leopard, lion, rhino, elephant, & buffalo. These were chosen because they were the most dangerous animals in the area to hunt.

The next morning a guide picked us up at 5:45 for our safari in Kruger proper. Winter is no joke there - we were frozen until about noon. I had on a sweater, down jacket & blanket & still couldn't stop shivering. This is where we learned the difference between private game reserves & Kruger. There's no offroading on government property & everyone with a car is welcome to drive through looking for animals. There are a lot more regular cars without guides, which means that they sometimes do silly things or get in the way. We got lucky with a rhino fairly soon & saw some more giraffes & elephants before seeing #5, the buffalo. They are not very interesting to watch, although our guide told us that they are fierce fighters. Apparently a buffalo kept 8 lions at bay once, by goring them & staying in front of a big tree. We didn't see any aggression though. They seemed to be chewing their cud, carrying their enormous balls, & letting little birds eat their ticks off. Later we saw a group of male impala fighting. They make funny grunting noises & actually lock horns. We saw some vervets, which are small adorable monkeys, & also baboons with their babies. When female baboons are in estrus they get the most unattractive-looking red butts.

We even saw warthogs, which are very hairy & nowhere near as cute as The Lion King would lead one to expect. & speaking of lions, we saw a whole family! Mommy & 2 cubs were walking on the highway, which seems to be easier on their paws, & Daddy brought up the rear. Mom & babies quickly ran away from the procession of cars but Daddy padded along majestically. He was even closer to us than the elephant & leopard the day before - it was amazing. We caught sight of some hippos quite far away on the riverbank as well.

The next day it was time to say goodbye to our lovely chalet & head back to Jo'burg. We drove up to Blyde River Canyon & God's Window, which has a small rain forest at the top. I have no idea how that's possible, but I think it's natural. The drive back was pretty uneventful; we decided to stay at the airport InterContinental this time because we had an early flight to Victoria Falls & it just didn't make sense to test our luck in the city again. The hotel is wonderful & the room was such welcome luxury. It's really expensive though, so not for backpackers. We played in the pool which overlooks Jo'burg, then had dinner downstairs at Quills. So yummy. The service was a bit slow but the food more than made up for it. Plus, compared to the absolutely crap food at the Lodge it was like manna from heaven.

I was going to do this post on all of South Africa but decided that would be too long. I deducted points for being freezing cold & the mediocre Lodge food. It was amazing overall though, & I definitely recommend it for everyone who's got at least a week to look at animals & explore.

work

I am back working for Giant Multinational Co. this month & they've taken away all our internet access. We used to be able to get gmail & most sites. I was really looking forward to catching up on email & posts but now I have to do that when I'm not working or with Sexy Englishman, which is not very much time at all. Bastards. So the Africa posts will be a bit delayed.

Las Vegas: 10/10

Sexy Englishman & I are finally back from our world tour. It's been a month exactly - towards the end I really missed New York. We started off in Vegas for 3 days from July 4. This time was so much more fun than my January trip with Nice Lawyer. We stayed at the Wynn, which according to SE (this was his 6th time) is the best hotel on the Strip. It was definitely my favorite as well. The decor is a bit Art Deco/whimsical Arabian fantasy, which I liked, & the staff are unfailingly attentive. Even if we asked the wrong person a question they seemed happy to steer us in the right direction. I loved our giant king-size bed & very comfy sheets. Oddly, the bathroom was the twin of the one at the Four Seasons. I can't imagine why that would be.

The tables are my favorite as well - last time we gambled at several different hotels & the Wynn was the best, & I wasn't disappointed this time. The dealers (we played blackjack) are very cheerful, like they're actually having fun as well. We were up & down during the 3 days, at worst down $2000 & at best up about $500 but ended up more or less even. Not too shabby. It got us one night comped as well.

This time I had the pleasure of discovering how great food is in Vegas. We went to Picasso at the Bellagio, which was amazing. Every course of the larger tasting menu except the main was absolutely heaven. Our mains were quite good, just not up to the standard of the rest. & the dessert! SE enjoyed his molten chocolate cake so much he told me he had a new love in his life. It's a pricey place but worth it. Plus you get to watch the fountain show every 15 minutes or so, although I wouldn't advise going outside during the sumer heat. It was over 100°F while we were there, & even though it's not humid, walking farther than the pool is really unadvisable.

We played blackjack the rest of the night, with a break in the middle for a little pick-me-up. On the one hand I feel bad for the waitresses having to wear those incredibly skimpy outfits, but also I really enjoy watching them. It's too bad Lovely Blonde couldn't come with us as originally planned, she would have loved it. We managed to get up around noon the next day & did touristy stuff like the Shark Reef (smaller than I thought it'd be, but pretty cool) & the Insanity ride at Stratosphere. That was an interesting view but it was too hot out & I got a bit nauseous. We escaped back to the wonderful air conditioning at the Wynn for dinner at SW Steakhouse. We had a great waiter, & the food was very good, but not quite as transcendental as Picasso. Their house steak sauce isn't good, which I noticed at Cut - Wolfgang Puck's place in LA - as well. I wonder why that is. You'd think they would do that the best. More gambling after dinner, neither of us having much luck. We kind of considered going to Crazy Horse but decided that it would probably just be a more expensive version of Penthouse, & it's not as fun with only 2 people.

Our last day we went to a shooting gallery. A friend suggested one, though couldn't remember the name or address except the general location but we tracked it down. American Shooter's Gun Club, 3440 S. Arville, is a no-frills shop & shooting area with a very comprehensive range of weapons. They even had Sten guns from World War II! One thing they don't really show on TV is how ridiculously loud guns are. Even ear muffs don't help much. SE thought I was a bit too excited about the guns but indulged me... we started with a .22 which we both learned to aim reasonably well & then progressed to a .357 Magnum. There really is no civilian situation where one would need a gun that powerful. It jumps a foot when fired, which makes precise aiming fairly useless, & it rips enormous holes in things. The paper target presented very little obstacle - as bloodthirsty as I am, I shudder to imagine what it would do to a body. It was fun at first & then the noise, recoil & powder burns kind of got to me. I'm really glad I got to try shooting for the first time though. & We saw a great visual argument for gun control as we were leaving. A guy was showing off his new $20,000 machine gun to his friends. That thing could fire a ridiculous number of rounds per second. Makes you wonder what kind of deer he thinks he's hunting.

The gun shop told us we could call a cab there, but could also call from the bar across the street with the added benefit of drinks, so we did that. We waited... & waited... played 2 games of pool & waited some more... in the most all-American bar I've ever been in. It was pretty interesting how many people were there on a Friday afternoon. Finally after 2 hours we got picked up. Went to dinner at Daniel Boulud's Brasserie in the Wynn, an ironically tony end to a rather redneck day. It was also very good - I was glad I ordered the signature short ribs. We played a little more black jack until we were almost late for the red-eye back to NYC. I thought I'd miss the scantily-clad waitresses bringing free drinks & I was right.

Africa rocks!

So far, we've been on safari & seen a ridiculous number of animals in Kruger National Park (lions, leopards & bears, oh my!), done helicopter & walking tours of Victoria Falls, bungee-jumped off the bridge there, flown South African Airways 5 times in one week & are currently at the Extreme Hotel in Cape Town. It's affiliated with the Extreme Sports channel & is definitely for young, hip, adrenaline junkies like us. Africa is amazing. Will blog about it much more fully later - oddly enough, we've met hardly any Americans here. The white people are mainly Australian or African. A bit odd. Possibly going shark diving tomorrow, wish me luck in not getting chomped!

I'm going on safari!

First we're celebrating in Vegas for a couple days, then we're doing South Africa for 10, Egypt for 6 & London for 8 or so. Sexy Englishman quit & has paid gardening leave for about 5 weeks & we are taking full advantage of that time. I am supposed to be packing right now, in fact; I suck at not procrastinating. I'm exhausted so I better finish up... wish me luck in not getting eaten!!

sorry!

I have been super busy working & having a real relationship... sorry I've completely neglected the blog. I actually have a runway show later, but I wanted to update & say hi to everyone. Things are a bit topsy-turvy & it's kind of a weird new world. Sexy Englishman & I are officially in love; I've been thinking seriously about my life; & most of the time things seem to be looking up. I have to go get ready, so I'll try to post later this weekend.

drunky drunky

... would be me, because I've been drinking & doing forced shots with Dancer & her friends since 9pm tonight. She made me wear my super long leather gloves (I had a session with glove-fetish slave, see last post) while eating at Sparks & then drinking at SushiSamba. The waiters got a kick out of it, I'll tell you that. Actually it was pretty cool because it seemed to scare most boys away from talking to me. In any case I enjoyed it inordinately. I really like looking scary in leather. I've had a couple busy weeks of work - I know, gasp!!! - so not much to report on the party front.

Sexy Englishman & I did the last few days of the Tribeca Film Festival, which was 75% good. The Killing of John Lennon (3/5) was disturbing but seemed pretty realistic, Dirty Carnival was fantastic (5/5) & I really want to see it again, Last Man was absolutely awful & one of the most boring movies EVER (0/5), & the Audience Award winner We Are Together was about singing African orphans (3/5). Sing in tune, ok please? I don't care if everyone else thinks they're wonderful, fourths & fifths especially need good intonation. They're kind of cute, so I do feel terrible for their plight although I don't really understand why they're that poverty-stricken, it's South Africa which I thought had some money. I guess I hate being figuratively bludgeoned over the head about charity like this. Plus I feel like, if you're using singing as the reason we should care, then be really good at it. You don't get to demand our attention & be crap at it too. Also, the director did this annoying thing where s/he'd pan to another scene & not focus properly at first, perhaps that is something that should have been edited out. It was pretty good though I guess.

We had dinner at Gramercy Tavern Sunday night with one of Sexy Englishman's best friends & his new girlfriend-to-be. Yum! We did the tasting menu, & our waiter was so cool, he offered to substitute the special, quail, for the chicken because of the way our eyes lit up when he told us about it. All the food was great & the four of us got along swimmingly, so much so that we took about 3.5 hours to eat. That was partly the 6 or 7 courses but mainly because we really liked talking to each other.

I was kind of sick all weekend & it got worse Monday & today, but I had fun with Dancer anyway. We had some drama with strip clubs - we were supposed to have dinner at Penthouse but they wouldn't let Dancer keep her thin jacket on (they said it was a fire hazard, wtf) so we went to Sparks instead, which was excellent & not as restrictive sartorially. I was the only one who finished my filet mignon, not sure why. Then we tried to go to Flashdancers but they didn't believe our friend's valid ID so that was a bust too. Everyone else was tired of being argued with so they went home, while Dancer & I had a last few drinks at SushiSamba. & now I really should go to bed if I want to make dance class at 11.

I've totally backslid on my resolution to party less & get more done. Well, I did get a lot done, just mostly not anything I actually needed to do. I visited my parents one weekend, which is always stressful, but it was great to watch my little siblings play tennis & hang out with them. One of my slaves - who has a serious glove fetish - took me to Sermoneta (58th & Madison) for opera-length black leather gloves... amazing. The leather is some of the softest I've ever felt. I wish I could wear them somewhere besides home. Sexy English Boyfriend & I went to the last movie of the GenArt film festival, He Was a Quiet Man. It was disturbing & thought-provoking, although a bit confusing at the end. & Elisha Cuthbert is beautiful. We liked it better than Crashing (the first GenArt movie). I partied Wednesday & Thursday with the girls, & Friday SE actually came out with me. We went to a fantastic Italian place in the East Village, Cacio e Pepe. We had the shrimp wrapped in bacon, pecorino & black pepper tonnarelli & bucatini. It was unbelievably good. Gin Lane & Cabanas at the Maritime Hotel were cool too - Lovely Blonde came with us & helped spice things up. We all danced together & after much experimentation, the best positioning seemed to be one girl on each side. Although I also really enjoyed being the middle of a SE-LB sandwich. SE & I went home kind of early after seeing LB off on her sexy little Vespa.

Saturday we celebrated a friend's birthday at Carne Vale, a churrascaria in the East Village. I really really love meat. Fashionista was being a nasty little bitch but it was great to see our other friends & meet SE's buddy visiting from London. We were supposed to stay & drink more with the birthday boy, but got invited to Scores East so the choice was clear. We joined our friends GQ Banker & Eurasian Beauty & some random people they were hanging out with whom we vaguely knew. Then came the highlight of the evening - no, the month, possibly the year! Eurasian Beauty & I got onstage! We made out, we were topless about a minute into our song & I knelt on stage & bent all the way backwards as EB simulated going down on me. Outside that I basically just did some of my hip-hop moves instead of trying to be a stripper. Oh my god it was so hot dancing with EB. After that we were so excited that we got carried away giving girls in our group lapdances. I'm surprised management didn't stop us. I still know I could never be a real stripper but it was so much fun. I'm quite an exhibitionist when I get the excuse.

Sunday was shopping & exercise-new-toys day. We were exhausted from being out super late the night before but we couldn't resist trying everything. Very very fun. :) This week has been a lot of work & partying - SE is in Poland for a stag weekend so I have to amuse myself. I've ended up hanging out with Eurasian Beauty & GQ Banker every night... GQB has been hitting on me again. He is the friend that had a crush on me first but then SE & I started dating. Friday night all our friends left first & we went to Flashdancers at 3:30 & I chatted with him & his roommate at their place for about 20 minutes before finally going home. I wasn't doing anything wrong but I know I shouldn't have been hanging out with just him. I was drunk enough that I didn't want to resist the male attention. & SE has been away 4 whole days. It is hard to behave... I guess it's good that I'm this reflective & concerned about it though. Last night I made a point of not meeting up with GQB when I could have. He was going to an afterparty at Room Service but when EB said she was going home I said me too instead of hanging out with just him again. Plus I know that I don't want to cheat on SE so I won't.

Yesterday was yet another banner day of drinking. My friend organized an East Village pub crawl, exactly like the one we did for Halloween, except this time he made it like a golf game. Each hole was a different bar with a special drink that was worth more negative points. We started around 3pm & by the time I left at 8:30 I was quite inebriated. It was really fun though. I met a very cute Asian girl & beat her at Connect Four. Also, even though I only played 7 holes I ended up about 11 under "par". I had dinner with Double Trouble & her friend at Wild Salmon, which is much better than the reviews led me to believe. I had the crab & corn chowder & then linguine with clams, both of which were really good. I guess all the liquor filled me up because I couldn't even finish my linguine! & I can eat a lot. Afterwards we went to Penthouse, my home away from home, & I saw one of the sexy strippers I met before & this time she gave me her #. She lost mine last time. Another girl took such a shine to me she got in trouble with management - she asked me to spank her but apparently we are not allowed to do that. Also she is not supposed to bite me (nicely). I saw this other girl who was so thin & sinuous & delicious I couldn't stop staring at her, but once she danced for me I could tell she had her eyes on the goal & that didn't include fooling around with me. Oh well. I started giving Double Trouble a lapdance & security was a little mad, since they'd already scolded me for doing that for the naughty stripper at her request. We were leaving anyway. Man I really love strip clubs.

I am really tired but I'm going to dance class. I have to look good when I pick up SE at the airport tomorrow... I miss him so much. I can't wait for him to come home.

fairly quiet weekends

I've been pretty bad about posting, sorry - if anyone's even still reading this. (After sitemeter check: just enough to make every day show up separately.) I spend most of my time with Sexy English Boyfriend, & it seems like when I'm actually at my apartment I'm rushing around trying to get stuff done before meeting him. Last weekend we had a double date with my friend Double Trouble (so called because we have the same first name, are very similar in many respects & have slept together) & her sort-of-boyfriend at Del Posto. Yum! We had the prix-fixe menu in the lounge. The calamari, carpaccio, gnocchi, bucatini, & steak were all fantastic. I was expecting it to be a bit overrated but it was even better than we'd heard. Afterwards we went to SE's friend's art showing at Rebel. It was a little weird for me because he's hooked up with her, although after I saw her & realized she was no competition I was all right. Then we were very spontaneous & went to the midnight showing of Blades of Glory (see review). The rest of the weekend was helping SE get stuff done, as well as the Bloc Party concert Saturday. They were pretty good but I prefer their album since it was a little hard to hear in the hall. I took my friend Fledgling Designer (& SE) out to dinner Sunday night since I missed his birthday while I was in Colombia. We had a great time just the three of us at Meskel, a new Ethiopian place in the East Village. It got a great NY Times review, although I wasn't quite as impressed with it. The injera (bread) is a bit sour for my taste - yes I know, it's supposed to be - so I eventually stopped eating it & just had the meat with a fork. That was good, it just got irritating to eat it inside bread with my fingers.

Wednesday I took SE to one of Fashionista's friend's Soho House dinners. The food was all right, not as good as usual. I used to love snobby places & people but am starting to feel how empty stuff like that is. Everyone name-dropping, trying to prove how cool they are, talking about things most of them couldn't possibly have experienced (something like which vintage of Château d'Yquem is better, come on). I guess I am trying to be a more genuine person & this rings a bit false now. Also, F was being an undermining little snake - we have been really good friends but the more I get to know her & the more I grow up, the less I trust her. My distrust has crystallized lately because of her behavior with SE. On her birthday she was overly flirty & touchy with him when I went to the bathroom, to the point of making me suspicious. She seems to have a crush on him, which is not a problem so much as her evident desire to drive a wedge between us. SE & I have talked about it - she's been known to be jealous of me, but this definitely feels like she wants him. Anyway, that night she made several little snide comments calculated to scare him (wedding jokes) or turn me against him. Oddly enough, though I was insanely jealous of him over silly nothings when we first started dating, now that the threat is somewhat real I'm actually quite calm about it. It probably helps that he doesn't like her & finds her unattractive.

The next night was more fun. We went out with Lovely Blonde & her friend Lovely Asian, who incidentally has the crudest potty mouth I've ever heard. She talked about poo a lot. I was covering my ears but couldn't avoid hearing her description of one that she took a picture of & sent to her friends. She's pretty fun, though, I think because her face is so lovely when she's quiet that you can't help liking her. It was also a great night because SE didn't have work, so we could stay out late. We hit up Room Service & Retreat, my promoter friend's new club, & went home quite drunk.

The next morning we luxuriated in bed for hours. We are such sillies sometimes - for some reason he started telling me a story in a ridiculously plummy BBC announcer voice, about Princess [Renaissance Diva] & her meeting some unicorns & dropping too much acid in her youth. It was so cute of him. I love unicorns & being called princess. The rest of that day was low-key, just us enjoying each other.

Saturday we met up with Most Hated Ex-Boyfriend. I am not sure why I agreed to it; I think I wanted MHEB to eat his heart out that not only am I forever out of his reach, I'm even more desirable than when we dated 3 years ago. He was one of those nasty, much older guys who was using me for sex when I thought we were dating. It went ok - he probably texted hi & "let's get coffee" because he wanted to see if I'd fuck him, & behaved quite politely considering I showed up with boyfriend in tow. I haven't heard a peep from him since, which is just as well. After the surprisingly non-awkward brunch, SE & I went shopping in Soho. Varvatos for him - god he looks yummy in their stuff - & some extremely pornographic Agent Provocateur for me. We got the shirt with all the vinyl straps, a tie-side thong, & the Top Hat 1/4 cup bra & thong set in virginal white lace & pink ribbons. The second he saw me try it on he got hard. :) Later that night we hung out with some of his Brit friends, who are all really nice & cool. I've never met anyone with so many friends I whole-heartedly like & approve of. Everyone in his life is genuine & solid & good people. He inspires me to rethink some of my questionable acquaintances.

Sunday was a leisurely day of watching cricket & Easter dinner with Young Entrepreneur's visiting family & some of our close friends. (YE is his flatmate.) It was wonderful but stressful & depressing for me, in that YE's parents are so much nicer than mine that it made me want to cry. I had to go to SE's room for a bit to calm down. He comforted me, though, & I was able to rejoin the party.

This week was quiet. We went to the GenArt film festival with his friend. The movie, Crashing, was all right, a bit too long but an interesting concept. It's about a successful writer who ends up crashing on these two sexy young coeds' couch & writing about them. The novelty is in the way the movie illustrates the writing process by showing all the fits & starts of his imagination. Threeway with the girls - no, unrealistic - sleeping with them one at a time - getting caught snooping by both - only getting caught by one - etc. The girls were the best part. God they were so hot. The scene where they made out, I was ready to climb on top of SE right there. Izabella Miko & Lizzy Caplan, names to remember. They're good actresses too. Afterwards we had dinner at Patsy's across the street, where we three (me, SE & friend) got along famously. In fact, yesterday SE forwarded me emails from that friend & one I met Saturday, both saying how lovely I am. It was great timing - I'm trying to be more down-to-earth, & it's hard to let go of my defensive party girl persona & be this vulnerable. That they liked the real me was very reassuring.

Thursday I went to some parties with Cute Gay Guy & met this very nice married couple as well. They totally wanted me, as did the other girls at the afterparty, & the most fun part was telling SE about it & watching him get all excited. He loves that other people want me & can't have me. I am such a good girl now! I only kissed the wife a little & didn't let more than 10 minutes go by without mentioning my boyfriend to every guy hitting on me. I must really like SE. Which brings me to exciting news. I met his parents! They're visiting for the weekend from England. We had dinner at 11 Madison Park - fantastic, more on that later - & I think they liked me. I know I loved them. They are such warm, genuine, interesting people. I was very nervous beforehand but it seemed to go well. From what I know of SE's prior conduct with girlfriends I think this introduction means he really likes me.

So, about our amazing dinner... it was great in every way. The service is unobtrusive but always there when needed. All the amuse-bouches were well-timed & delicious - just when we were getting restless & hungry there'd be another yummy little morsel. I had the scallops, gnocchi & beef tenderloin, while SE had the tuna, lobster & lamb, all of which were scrumptious. (I didn't try the parents' dishes.) They weren't huge plates but the absolutely gorgeous, geometric & unhurried presentation somehow was more satisfying than a simple big meal. At the end I had a to-die-for chocolate mille-feuille that I was loath to part with although I shared with everyone. It was unexpectedly wonderful in so many ways.

please do not spit on the subway

It sounds crazy but it happened today on the 6 train - a guy & a girl got into some kind of dispute, which I noticed when it escalated to yelling. We were at a stop during the whole argument when the guy, already outside the doors, made fun of her do-rag or something. So she stuck her face through the doors & spit at him. He tried to charge back in & continue the argument but it seemed like people blocked him. She cackled, "Haha you wish!" & spit at him again. Fortunately the doors closed & we got moving again before anything else happened. People are crazy.

treo hell

Oh happy day... my Treo unilaterally decided to erase about 7 months of calendar data. Not the oldest things, mind you, but the most recent. It doesn't make any sense because the problem is most likely that I have too many records (6 years' worth), which generally causes the oldest to be deleted. It sucks - I like to write down stuff I do & where it is. So not only do I have no record of what I did since last September, all the addresses & place names I noted so painstakingly are gone. I'll have to go through & replace some of it from posts here. & the worst part is, tech support told me I should purge events every so often to prevent this kind of problem again. But the Palm Desktop software only gives me the option of deleting events older than a week to a month. I guess I have to go through & delete things from 2000 one by one. Damn retarded machines.

recent movie reviews

I've seen several movies lately: the 300, Last King of Scotland, a Korean horror movie The Host, Blades of Glory, & The Lookout. The 300 was quite awful despite good fight scenes & wonderfully muscled men. Every line is delivered in a portentous manner that makes me want to fast forward, the pause before each one is so long. Xerxes is the prettiest drag queen there ever was, while the rest of the Persian army is apparently made up of ogres & masochistic minions. I did like the Queen, Lena Headey, & King Leonidas, Gerard Butler, mainly because they're gorgeous & a little more convincing than the rest of the cast. Maybe it was unintentional, but the whole movie felt like a heavy-handed attempt to moralize about how much better being Spartan & disciplined is than decadent & gay (apparently) like Persia. It felt reactionary as well as inaccurate - the Puritans trying to keep out the Romans, so to speak. & they really should have kept calling the battle place Thermopylae. The Hot Gates just sounds stupid & makes it even more of a farce.

Last King of Scotland was disturbing & thought-provoking. I quite liked the young Scottish doctor, & it was fascinating to watch him start working for Idi Amin without meaning to. I liked how the film showed Amin slowly spiraling into paranoia & madness. There are some brutal torture scenes towards the end, which I didn't enjoy as much as one would expect. I'm not sure about the historical accuracy - the end feels a little pat, but overall it was a really good movie & made me think about how easy it is to lose touch with reality when you are on top.

The Host has to be the saddest horror movie I've ever seen. I lost track of how many times everything looked like it would work out but then didn't, usually in a really upsetting, heart-wrenching way. It's also frightening, mainly because I was always being startled by the monster or unexpected things. Basically the monster is the product of mutation due to chemicals being dumped in the Han River (I think that's in Seoul). It kind of looks like a dinosaur - very big & powerful on land as well as in the water. One day it comes out of the river & starts snacking on people. Soon we see that it's taking some of them back to a concrete hole somewhere in the sewer system. The government tries to contain all the people who've come into contact with the monster, thinking it's spreading a virus. This is a problem for one family, because their little girl is in the secret lair & no one believes them, so they need to go rescue her. That was a very upsetting part of the movie - the way the bureaucracy was absolutely pig-headed & wouldn't listen to anything, & there was a lot of unnecessary pain as a result. There's a lot of action - sometimes the movie's a bit silly, but it seems intentional, like they were poking fun at themselves & the horror genre. I really liked it.

Blades of Glory was probably the funniest movie I've seen this year. It's very silly, but the plot is actually kind of clever, especially the way they justify having Jon Heder & Will Ferrell skate together. Will Arnett & Amy Poehler are great as the villains in the piece, & Pam from The Office is their sister & Jon Heder's love interest. There are so many lines that were roll-on-the-floor funny - I think my favorite was when Heder says nighttime is dark for everyone, & Ferrell retorts, "Not for people who live in Alaska. Or people with night-vision goggles." Maybe it's the crazy way he says it. He's fantastic at every permutation of his character - arrogant bad boy, disillusioned drunk, annoying fat asshole, & finally older wiser bad boy. The two of them play off each other really well - the movie just effortlessly brings you into its world because everything works so seamlessly. Definitely go see this one.

The Lookout was also thought-provoking, partly because of the issues it raises & also all the loose ends it doesn't tie up. Usually every little detail that a movie focuses on comes to be important in the end, but not here. It seemed more like life that way, so I liked it. The lookout is a young guy who crashed his car after the high school prom, sustaining severe head injuries & killing 2 friends in the process. Because of the head injuries he has difficulty remembering things & frequently can't control his impulses. He falls in with a bad crowd, partly because of a girl (Isla Fischer, the crazy sister from Wedding Crashers) who seems to have been instructed to seduce him, & is swept up in their plans to rob the bank he works at. It was a little scary watching him keep making the wrong choice & get sucked into evil - it seemed so ordinary, like something that could happen to anyone. I recommend this one too.

my busy week

I keep trying to stay focused & get things done, but I'm very easily sidetracked. This past week was split between work, exercise, etc & stuff I'm not supposed to do. I had 2 sessions - one of my slaves brought me Godiva chocolates & a Barnes & Noble gift card as a belated birthday present, isn't that sweet? I also worked an exhausting promotion for a new VH1 show called Acceptable TV. It was not a well-thought-out way for them to reach their target young demographic but I got paid & I always enjoy analyzing how to get people to respond so that was fine.

Unfortunately the pay wasn't munificent, which is why it was so bad that I shopped. Last week I saw 2 of my friends wearing super hot dresses from American Apparel. Up to this point, I wouldn't shop there. I think I disliked the not-hot-enough models, then after I read the disturbing article in the NY Times about Dov Charney I definitely was not a fan. But these dresses were so good I had to check them out. I ended up buying 3 on Tuesday & 3 more on Thursday. They not only look sexy, they're about $26-36 with good, comfortable material. I can't go in there again for a while, it's too dangerous. Sexy Englishman helped by threatening (& carrying out) "punishment" if I shopped any more. Or maybe that was just an excuse for us to try spanking...

Even worse, I bought jewelry: I lost my favorite ring Monday, & I was kind of down all week so I went to Tiffany's & replaced it. I forgot that it was about $200 (had a gift card the first time), & I haven't exactly been economical lately so that was a problem. The other jewelry I got from a street vendor by my house, which wasn't as much damage except I'll pass him every time I go to the train & will need to tape my hands inside my jacket or something. I think I'm in that stage of being broke where it's gone on long enough to make me impulsive & restless, much more likely to say "oh fuck it" & just buy things instead of being disciplined. I'm usually really good about resisting temptation, so this is kind of scary.

I ended up spending a fortune on dinners this weekend too - Thursday I visited Fashionista at Lan where she just started working, & my dinner was $100. I guess I should have asked her first what the deal was. It's a fantastic resto in the East Village, & certainly not overpriced for the quality of the food, but I can't remember the last time I actually paid in full for myself to eat somewhere like that. I'm always on a date or someone rich is having a party. On Saturday Lovely Blonde very kindly accompanied me to a reception in Brooklyn for an art showing by one of my photographers. He takes pictures & then turns them into giant canvases, they look really cool & Warhol-esque. We took the train, not knowing we were venturing into Bed-Stuy! Nothing happened though, & the show went well. Afterwards we decided to take advantage of Brooklyn Restaurant Week & go to Blue Ribbon. It was really good, & the bartender gave us all our drinks, but that was another $100. Sunday was Fashionista's birthday & another wonderful, expensive meal at Lan. I got really pissed off for a few minutes because it was supposed to be $35 prix fixe & the bill came to $105/person. Alcohol is surprisingly expensive. I guess I don't notice usually because I rarely buy drinks. I forced myself to calm down & rationalized that it was her birthday & there was nothing to be done at that point.

I barely slept last week, what with having work early one day, being inexplicably unable to sleep one night, & staying out all night with Fashionista 2 nights. Got home at 9:30 this morning - her birthday was of course the occasion for indulgence on a larger-than-usual scale. After dinner we did gay night at Hiro, where I was admiringly called Naomi Campbell 3 times (I suppose because she's a quarter Chinese), & then a very noisy APT before the regulation apartment afterparty. I managed to make myself get up after a few hours' nap but I feel guilty for not getting much done & I'm trying to figure out why it's so hard to get myself home at a reasonable hour. I guess I'd rather go play than work on what I'm supposed to do. At least I manage to go to the gym & whip my ass into shape almost every day.

In happier thoughts, Lovely Blonde & I were virtually attached at the hip all weekend - we met up briefly Friday, then she went on the Brooklyn adventure with me Saturday & stayed over that night. We wanted to fool around but she had a tummy ache so we just snuggled. Sunday we wandered down to Soho & ended up at Kiki de Montparnasse & Agent Provocateur, which got us all excited. We both desperately want these adorable little vibrators at Kiki but they are crazy expensive. Afterwards we had brunch at Ideya with some friends of hers, then I had to go pick up my auntie from Penn Station. Lovely Blonde came to Fashionista's birthday dinner too & stayed out with us all night. We finally made out for the first time. Sexy Englishman was in Vegas for the weekend with some guy friends, & despite getting back late last night, joined us at the restaurant for a little while. We were so happy to see each other we had really hot sex in the bathroom. LB even joined in at first, but I think we all felt our first three-way should be on a bed where we could all be naked & have space. We are planning to go to Vegas some weekend soon, just the three of us. :)

Well, I only got 2 things crossed off my list today, but I'm going to the Snow Patrol concert with SE so I have to get ready. Another day semi-wasted...

more reviews

My friend Know-It-All insisted on taking me out to belatedly celebrate my birthday right before I left for Colombia. First we had dinner at Amma, this lovely Indian place in the East 50s. We ended up just getting a bunch of appetizers which were all really good. I love Indian but don't get to eat it much - I guess that's because my dates are usually trying to impress me & Indian hasn't quite acquired the same cachet as, say, French or Japanese. Anyway, I definitely recommend the crab cakes & lamb.

Avenue Q is so much fun! My voice teacher had me listen to the CD, since there's an Asian woman part, so I already knew it was funny, & seeing it live was immeasurably better. Somehow the whole puppet thing (about half the characters are puppets) works & isn't confusing. & the songs! They're funny when you read the music, & hilarious when acted out. Like "The Internet Is for Porn," Lucy the Slut's song "Special," &... all of them, actually. Everyone was great - they sang in tune & were all really good actors. The only small quibble I had was with the guy who played Princeton & Nicky, who came off a little too gay. It was easy to overlook though.

I also liked the ingenious set design. It looks like a row of houses converted into apartments in Brooklyn (obviously) & people can pop easily in & out of the doors & windows, while scenes that need to be indoors are staged out front without seeming odd. I have to give props to the puppet sex scene as well. I liked that part in Team America a few years ago & this scene was shorter but equally as hot. Or maybe it's just fun watching people go at it, even when they're puppets.

Speaking of going at it, I've been home for a week & with Sexy Englishman every night but one. We had a great weekend - Armin van Buuren at Pacha on Friday, sexy stripper makeup night at Penthouse (for some people who missed my birthday), & snuggling on the couch all Sunday watching movies. He might be the best boyfriend ever. He's always kissing me or smiling at me or saying something sweet & we are both equally freaky in the bedroom. I am trying very hard to keep my compulsive worrying at bay & not let my recent bad experiences turn me into a crazy neurotic & so far I think I'm doing all right. :)

Bogotá restaurant scene review

Auntie was really happy to have someone to go out with, so I had some fun trying different restaurants with her. There's La Fragata, which revolves at the top of the Bogotá Royal Hotel. Its specialty is seafood & everything was pretty good, although a bit too sweet for me. I think that is just the taste here though, as well as too salty. The service was perfectly Old World & luxurious. I also liked my veal Milanese at the Hotel Cosmo the next night.

There is an area called the Zona Rosa, where young people hang out at night. Lots of fancy places there. We tried Pesquera Jaramillo, Cabala, Habana Mamma's, & Salto de Ángel, all of which were very good. I had Argentinean cuts of steak - punta de anca & bife de chorizo - at the first two, which don't seem to be available in the States. Fantastic. Habana Mamma's was Cuban, as one would expect, & pretty good although again a bit sweet. At Salto de Ángel I was introduced to the joys of baby beef, which is not veal but about that tender. They don't skimp with their portions either. Every steak I got was massive.

There is a national craze for crepes here, so we went to this chain Crepes & Waffles. I did not much like my crepe the first time, which was too sweet, & the prosciutto was weird, but the second time was better & they make the most amazingly yummy sundaes & mini-waffles. I discovered this scrumptious substance called arequipe which is milk & caramel made into a sauce, & super deliciosa. Oooh & there is this powdery candy made of arequipe plus Pop Rocks-type stuff which is incredibly good. It's called Quipitos Pops! & I really hope it's already being imported here because I haven't the foggiest idea how to get that done.

Astrid y Gastón is an ultra-fancy Peruvian restaurant in a converted mansion. I really liked it. I decided to be adventurous & try some new things, so I asked the waiter to recommend dishes instead of going for what I know I like. I ended up with a very generous ceviche appetizer & a surprisingly filling little seared tuna entrée. For my cousin's wife's birthday, Auntie & I took her to Tramonti, which is on a hill overlooking Bogotá. It's a great view & the food is quite good too. I had an arequipe napoleon for dessert which was heavenly.

Andrés Carne de Res is a really fun restaurant in some city or district called Chia. I have to say, it was the highlight of my trip. I love steak as we all know, & I had a great big slab of it in the form of chuleton. The place itself was the draw though - it's clearly intended for young people & the whole setup is so happy that it made me laugh out loud in delight just looking around sometimes. Then at night it turns into a disco! I didn't dance the way I do in New York clubs but I had tons of fun. Also, their mojitos come in large bowls which could probably hold the contents of two cocktail glasses.

So, to sum up - Bogotá food is generally too sweet &/or salty, there are some fine restaurants though tastes are quite different from in NYC, & the desserts are fantastic. I can't say I'd advise anyone to make the trip for just the food, except maybe Andrés Carne de Res for sheer good fun.

Bogotá, Colombia: 6/10

My assessment may not be quite fair, since I spent the three weeks with my very old-fashioned auntie who only speaks Chinese & heavily accented Spanish, so it's not as though we were out tearing up the town. In any case, my impression is that a great deal of Bogotá is dirty, poor & conducive to crime. There are also some very nice areas with lovely restaurants as well (see separate post), & everything is tons cheaper than in the States. Auntie doesn't have a car so we spent a lot of time in cabs. We'd ride somewhere for twenty minutes & the fare would be, say, 8000 pesos, which is a little over $3.50. In NYC that is the base fare when you get in the cab at certain times! The exchange rate took some getting used to - it's supposed to be 2320 pesos to $1, but the effective rate is about 2200, & price tags of $100,000 never quite stopped being a shock (they use the symbol $, I don't know why).

Auntie is very upset about her soon-to-be ex-husband, which will be her first breakup ever. They were together for almost thirty years, so you can imagine how traumatic it is for her. I spent most of my time cheering her up & telling her about my dating experience in an attempt to bring her up to speed with the rest of the world. The poor woman is so sheltered in that respect. Also, I worked on my Chinese & Spanish - my family barely spoke Chinese while I was growing up, so this was a great opportunity to expand my vocabulary from mainly food-ordering words. It was kind of bewildering because I went from comfortably speaking English all the time to being forced to think of words in two languages I'm not very familiar with. Good for me though. I met a cousin I didn't know I had, too. My maternal grandfather apparently had three kids with his first wife before making five with my grandmother, & this cousin is the son of one of those first kids. It's really weird because he's almost as old as my parents, & his children are exactly my siblings' ages. I feel like they should be my cousins instead of second cousins or whatever. Anyway, I love kids so it was fun playing with them & getting them to like me.

I have to express my admiration for the Colombian bus & train system. I wasn't allowed to go on it, as a pretty young foreigner, but it looks really organized & modern. The buses are called TransMilenios - they have their own lane on the highways as well as pedestrian bridges. They seem to run on a pretty frequent schedule too. The trains come aboveground at each stop & then disappear back under the highway in between. Someone did a wonderful job designing the whole system. I wish that could work here in NYC - trudging up & down the stairs to the subway takes a lot of energy. & the buses cause so much traffic.

The people of Bogotá seem fairly friendly, although sometimes I wished the men would back off a little. Overall nothing bad happened, though. No one tried to steal my purse, my pinky with its new emerald ring is still attached to my hand (despite dire predictions of amputation if I wore my rings), & other than strange men trying to talk to me I was not bothered in any way. It's a funny story behind the ring - Auntie is very superstitious, & insisted that I needed to protect my "fortune" by wearing it. I have a ring at home I could wear but she insisted I needed a new one, & who am I to argue with more jewelry. :) We got a small emerald since that's the major gemstone in Colombia, & it's very delicate & pretty. Auntie also bought me an outfit & if she'd had her way I would have come home with the contents of at least one mall as well. She's really sweet - I got bored at times, but I did my best to be there for her & help her not think about how much of a pig her husband is being. I won't go into detail, but he's done everything awful short of murder, & my aunt slaved away for thirty years making his life as smooth & pleasant as possible while working & taking care of their kids. A little depressing to contemplate.

Bogotá seems to be a little slow in adopting some aspects of modern technology, which is most glaringly obvious in the cars. I did not see one single car, new or old, with automatic windows the whole time, & we took anywhere from one to five cabs a day, so I had a more than sufficient sample to observe. I can't think of a single reason roll-down windows would be popular compared to power ones so I found it very puzzling. Most cars are stick shift as well, which is also a head-scratcher since traffic is really awful most of the time. My understanding is that automatic was developed to cut down on gas consumption & driver effort in those situations. Gas is only slightly cheaper than in the States, even though Colombia is much closer to Venezuela.

We went sightseeing in the country one Sunday. It's really rural right outside the city, with cows & everything. Actually you can find them in the city too, but not so much. It's bizarre to drive by cows grazing peacefully on the shoulder, I'll tell you that. Anyway we went to this Catedral de Sal, which apparently is one of the new manmade wonders of the world. I wasn't impressed by a bunch of giant crosses & prie-dieus carved out of salt in a giant salt mine, but then I'm an atheist & I've never liked the simpering style which seems to be de rigeur for angels. But it was certainly a massive mine & a great many people spent a lot of time hollowing it out in slightly interesting ways.

Bogotá drivers are absolutely frightening. I can't count how many times I gasped in horror, sure that we would crash. People think nothing of cutting each other off & darting in & out of tiny spaces, which would probably earn a shooting in America. I guess they're just much braver - I was scared to death a great deal of the time though. & what is up with the bathrooms generally having no toilet paper? I don't know how mens' rooms work but we ladies need paper! I would say 50% of the places did not provide. It was really puzzling, & don't say bidet because there weren't any either. I suppose they expect women to have fully stocked purses.

I probably would have liked Bogotá better under other circumstances, & I will say that the weather is pretty mild & it is a rather pretty city in aerial view, with lots of history.

the Mistress has a new man

Wow. I mentioned that Sexy Englishman asked me out for Thursday, right? Well, we did go out last night, but that was our 4th date. It's been a whirlwind courtship... we spent Sunday night together, as I mentioned in the last post. We had dinner at this fantastic lower east side Italian place ápizz Monday, & afterwards I came up for "just a minute" which turned into another sleepover, although this time with more sleep. Oh I wanted him so much. However, I managed to keep my panties on - although I lost all my other clothes. Still no sex & no pressure from him. I've been pretty sick all week with a frightening cough, which hasn't stopped us for a minute. I can't breathe the cold air outside so Wednesday, Valentine's Day, he came over with champagne, strawberries & a rose. (Oddly enough, my apartment is filled with flowers at the moment. I got a beautiful white orchid from work last Thursday, irises from the ex for my birthday, & roses from Tech Exec for v day. Because a made-up commercial holiday is so much more important than my birthday. Jackass.) SE is such a sweetheart. We got takeout & snuggled on the sofa semi-watching his favorite movie Heat, which he was astounded I had. I'm an action &/or hot babes kind of movie girl, what can I say? He took care of dizzy, feverish lil' me & I think he may actually have kissed my fever away.

Yesterday we had conveyor belt sushi at a Japanese place by his apartment, which was absolutely fascinating. I did not know there was such a thing, it made eating really fun. I mean SE & I were smooching the whole time, so it was already fun, but the moving food was cool. He's going to Puerto Rico this weekend with friends & I was supposed to help him pack but we couldn't stop fooling around. He begged me to take my thong off & I couldn't resist any more so I told him I would if he'd give me boxers to wear. Later, when we "went to bed", the boxers ended up on the floor & we finally did it. & I actually got to finish, which almost never happens & was really mind-blowing. Damn, I knew taking my panties off was dangerous. :) But I'm happy, he's my boyfriend now, & I'll break up with everyone when I get back.

Leaving for South America tomorrow morning - my aunt is going through some personal stuff & my mother deputized me to go be a comfort & help since she can't leave the kids. I'll be away for 2 weeks, not looking forward to it so much but I can work on my Spanish & Chinese (that's all auntie speaks) & catch up on practicing. Please let there be an internet cafe by her house, I don't know what I'll do if I'm cut off from NYC civilization for the whole time. SE & I promised we will behave while we're apart. He's going to France for a week with buddies right before I get back, so it'll be 3 whole weeks. I wanted to wait to have sex until then but I suppose I gave us something to look forward to. This is so weird, I have a boyfriend again. I hope it turns out well.

birthday weekend extravaganza draws to a close

Yes, I'm a total princess & celebrated my birthday all weekend. My friends pulled through for me & made it awesome. I could have relaxed, it would have turned out great anyway - I have to learn how to be calm & let things work themselves out a lot more. Friday was very upsetting because Tech Exec disappeared again. He upset me already Wednesday at the client dinner, & we were supposed to have plans Saturday which I wanted to confirm except he didn't respond to me all day Friday. I don't know why I was surprised he started acting a fool again. So I was trying very hard & failing not to be depressed, when my friends Fledgling Designer & Cute Gay Guy were like come on let's have dinner! They took me to an adorable & yummy izakaya (Japanese tapas) called Kasadela in the east village & were just so sweet & cheerful that I perked right up & finally started having fun. We bounced around from China 1 to Lotus to Remix afterhours, & then hung out at CGG's house as usual.

Saturday, Nice Lawyer took me to Macelleria, where we shared the porterhouse & people looked at me strangely for wearing a little black dress & my new Proenza Schouler boots. It was very cold but I wanted to dress up. We had a drink at the Gansevoort while waiting for my friends to figure out where they wanted to go, then joined them at Double Happiness for more drinking. We popped downtown to some house party that turned out to be at my ex-boyfriend's building - freaky, we were on the floor below his! - & after frantically digging for our coats for about 45 minutes, we finally arrived at Penthouse with Fledgling Designer & another friend of ours. It is my favorite strip club & that night was absolutely amazing. Most of the time, even though that's the best club in Manhattan, I would say 50% of the girls are smokin' hot. Saturday, it was 80%. Like knock me over with a feather, drop-dead gorgeous. I got lots of lapdances & I was so excited, it's a good thing Nice Lawyer isn't pushy or I might actually have slept with him. He isn't much for staying out late & opted to go home when the rest of us decided on Korean barbecue after Penthouse said, "Gentlemen, put your dicks & wallets back in your pockets, it's closing time!" No they didn't but it sounds funnier that way. My friends laughed when I kissed NL good night & sent him on his way & said I was truly sadistic - it was his choice though, he could have asked me to come home or stayed out. & I was so hot I probably would have gone with him. Instead we ate like little piggies & that was good too.

Sunday I went to the gym, saw Prince Charming there, got several happy birthday phone calls & texts from unexpected people, & picked a nice outfit for dinner (Chanel skirt + see-through glittery black top). It ended up being 10 of us at Porcão, my favorite Brazilian steakhouse. Yes, I had meat all weekend & I like it that way. Dinner was so much fun!! Everyone got along famously, everyone was sweet to me, & I think someone told them to make my strawberry caipiroskas especially strong. So yummy. Afterwards we went over to Young Entrepreneur's loft (one of the hot guys from a prior post) since he's a few blocks away & drank some more. We were going to try for Milk & Honey but got distracted. & then, the high point of my whole weekend, his flatmate Sexy Englishman came home. We had bonded over books at their super bowl party the weekend before but their other friend was hitting on me & I didn't know SE liked me so I didn't really think about it. He emailed me the next day though, & asked me out a few days later for Thursday this week. On Sunday we started talking & realized we were really into each other. I decided to stay a bit longer & not share a cab home with the erstwhile favored friend. We were talking in SE's room - at one point he just leaned in & kissed me, & after extensive making out I ended up staying the whole night. We didn't do it although we fooled around all night. Literally. We fell asleep from exhaustion about 45 minutes before he had to get up for work.

Which is why I'm posting at such an ungodly early-for-me hour... I fell asleep again after he left, & just got home now. I can't remember ever being this into a guy (except maybe Prince Charming, but he's so flaky I've learned not to pay attention to those feelings). He gets me sooo excited & we have so much in common & I'm thinking about him right now with a smile on my face. We just find each other completely fascinating & yummy & keep discovering new adorable little quirks. I told him my current celibacy rule - no sex before we're in a relationship - & not only did he not pressure me about it the way Tech Exec did, he was totally sweet & understood without me having to explain any of the bad things that have made me that scared. I think this might be my new boyfriend. Wish me luck!

yo shorties, it's my birthday!

Yay, it's my birthday!! I was actually really depressed all week because I'm freaked out about getting older, the birthday weekend extravaganza planning was a huge headache, & a couple other bad things happened, but my close friends were such sweethearts last night that I am actually happy about my big day finally. They are throwing me a little "surprise" party tonight & I have to go get dressed for dinner with Nice Lawyer before that so I will tell you guys all about the festivities later!!