I decided to be Go Go from Kill Bill for Halloween, since I already have a slutty schoolgirl outfit & they have a ball & chain at the dungeon where I rent. I bought a mini samurai sword online from hanzoswords.com, because she had one & I always wanted a sword. It was $11 + $11 shipping so I was pretty happy. When it arrived, though it looked good, it couldn't be opened. I tried for a couple days but it was jammed. I left a voicemail for them, which wasn't returned, & then emailed. They replied in a few hours, telling me to get another person & try to open the sword that way. I thought that was kind of stupid, because if I can't open it on my own, regardless of my strength, the sword is useless. Who wants a prop sword they can't even pull out of the scabbard? & if I open it once with someone else, it's still inoperable all the other times. Anyhow, I told them I wanted a replacement by Saturday at the latest. This was Tuesday night. Sexy Englishman, his housemates & I are throwing a huge Halloween party on Saturday so I need it by then. They email back that it's no problem, they can do that. I ask again to confirm that they can guarantee it will get here by Saturday. They say yes, they just need a tracking # for the one I have when I send it back by 6:30 pm eastern time Wednesday.
On Wednesday, I take care of it by 3:30 for $20 because that's the cheapest way I can get a tracking #. I don't know much about shipping so I sigh & say, fine whatever send it FedEx as long as I get it out on time, just do the least expensive way. I email the site. No answer. I email again at 6:30 to make sure they got the first email, because I want that sword in the mail tonight. I get a reply at 9:30 saying "Oh sorry, didn't have time to check mail before I went to the post office this afternoon, we will have to send it express tomorrow (Thursday) & that will cost about $20, but we'll reimburse today's shipping costs since it was our mistake." I said fine just send it to SE's apartment because I won't be home much the next few days. I comment that they must have a great deal with the post office because it took me that much to send to them, & the unfriendly reply is "Oh. No. I did not ask you to send it express. 2 lbs should have been $7. I will only give you that much." I'm already pissed off at this person for not checking her email in time to send the thing out earlier, which is costing them more & entirely their fault. I don't know anything about parcels, the corner shipping store told me what they could do & $20 was my lowest option if I wanted the tracking # hanzoswords demanded.
I feel that I've been quite reasonable & clear up to this point. They send me a defective sword - I ask nicely for a new one. I said I wanted a new sword only if they guaranteed delivery by Saturday - they said yes. I shell out $20 without complaint & email the tracking # as requested, twice before the deadline - they mess that up, won't reimburse most of the shipping & act like I'm the one in the wrong. I email SE's address twice for them to send to - & today I come home to a notice from the US Postal Service saying "Sorry we missed you! You have an express mail package." TWICE I told her the address. I understand that they're busy for Halloween, but this was very simple & they fucked up repeatedly. This means I have to come back to my post office, among the myriad things we need to do to get SE's apartment ready for 300 partygoers, to pick up the damn sword that should have been ready two weeks ago. Fuckwits is a word that comes to mind.
Update: customer [dis]service tried to argue with me over email about this. I told them I wanted someone to call me last week since no one ever returned my voicemail. They said there was nothing to discuss, please pay the bill for shipping, we did everything we could. I explained succinctly & politely why that was not the case & got another dimwitted "please pay the bill, thanks for your business" message. I said I didn't want to keep going back & forth over email & to please call me. All I've gotten since Monday is PayPal reminders, which apparently they send out 3 at a time. Keep digging the hole deeper, dummies...
Update in March 2008: hanzoswords found this post & commented on their side of the story at length, but they used my name so I had to delete it. I told them they were welcome to re-post if they took out my name. It seems like they still don't quite understand what happened, but they canceled the PayPal bill for the shipping & at least made the effort to apologize to me, so maybe it's just their one employee who is messing things up.