sorry guys!

I've been terribly remiss with posts & I apologize. But if you knew how topsy-turvy my life has been... Sexy Englishman & I broke up in May. It was absolutely devastating for the first two weeks, but I'm still here. It helped that I started dating the next day. Although lately it seems that he's been regretting his stupid decision. [Fingers crossed, everybody.] More importantly, I went to a 6-week theatre acting intensive and I learned so much. It was crazy! I haven't slept properly in about four months because first I was too busy dating & going out (oh so much partying), then insanely busy learning scenes. We all did at least 6 scenes in 5 weeks. It was so intense my photographic memory came back, probably in solidarity with the rest of me. Plus, I never thought I could do theatre besides musicals but now I want to try.

School was like therapy, boot camp and social awareness training all rolled into one. As an actor you can't be detached from your life - you have to go honestly with the truth of the moment. I had to stop distancing myself from what goes on around me. Which meant that I ended up crying almost every time I got up in class. It was worth it - I kind of knew I was sitting back, watching my life go by, but this smacked me in the face with that fact and stopped me. I also have a hard time allowing myself to express my feelings, because I'm afraid of how intense I can be, & I had to learn that it's ok to scream & throw shit & cry & do whatever short of physically hurting the other person. I found it incredibly difficult to stop controlling my emotions all the time, so I wasn't very good until my last scene. My partner & I were so good, the teacher just tweaked our scene a bit, let us do it again & said, "Thank you. That was fantastic. You've inspired me to greatness. Next!" No one in our classes had ever finished a scene that quickly. I was walking on air the rest of the day.

I'm working at Giant Multinational Corporation again for a while. It sucks because I desperately needed a rest after school but I had to start the Tuesday after it ended. Money is money though. Business at the dungeon is nearly nonexistent anyway, after the police closed two places. I'm going to try to update more often... wish me luck with auditions & boys!

off again

The Halloween party was an epic success - so much so that Sexy Englishman & his housemates are no longer allowed to throw parties with more than about 20 people. We had 200 people show up! It was awesome. & one of our favorite people in the whole world made a surprise visit from London... I was furious at not being told beforehand but so so happy to see him. I couldn't decide whether to whip him or hug him. SE & I, along with Cute Gay Guy & a couple other people, partied through to Sunday morning & then started cleaning up. This was our "bar" at that point.

We had such a great time we're not even going out for Halloween tonight. Plus, we're flying out to the Bahamas tomorrow for his college friend's wedding, & we have to look nice for the über-posh people there. It's going to be at Lyford Cay. The dress code is 4 pages long, I am not kidding. They are so crazy, for breakfast they say that men don't have to wear panama hats but it's encouraged. I'm excited to wear my new dress from Selfridges though!!

vodka comparison

On Friday, as I was organizing my apartment, I came upon a little limoncello that I brought back from Rome 5 years ago & forgot about. (I was there to play a concert, stayed a week with just my accompanist - learned how to shop, order wine with dinner & I even met a guy. So much better than family vacations. Plus I nailed the horrifically difficult & nearly atonal sonata to the composer's countrymen's liking.) I decided to try drinking at home for the first time & bought a little bottle of Ciroc to make lemon drops. When I was at the liquor store the guy was discussing vodkas with me, & I've been a diehard Grey Goose girl after a blind taste test between that, Belvedere & Ketel straight, but his "ewww" reaction to GG made me think about trying something new. He suggested Imperia & Ciroc as very smooth & nice so I tried the Ciroc since it comes in a small bottle. As I mentioned before, I can't really taste alcohol until it's about 80% of the drink so that little 250 mL limoncello bottle lasted about 3 martinis. By which time I was surprisingly quite hammered, especially after being a tidy tornado in my house - physical exertion speeds up alcohol absorption - so I went to the store again to get a bottle of Imperia before they closed. That Africa detox & sober-weekdays-while-working policy were clearly not a good idea, as they have lowered my tolerance appreciably. Anyhow, after tasting the Ciroc & Imperia straight, I have to say I agree with the liquor store guy. I don't think it'd matter much in a vodka soda, but they do truly go down a lot more smoothly than Grey Goose. & today at Citarella I found bellini mix from Cipriani's ("good with vodka, gin, white rum & sparkling wine"), which of course I had to try. Fortunately Imperia comes in a nice big bottle & I have a lot of chores for myself tonight, so I should stay fairly well-behaved. Plus I'm practicing now which forces my brain to stay focused. Wish me luck!

London: 9.5/10

[This post has been sitting on my desk in longhand all week - typing is much faster than writing, but it also requires more time than you'd think.] I never thought I'd welcome drizzle! London was a bit damp & after the frying heat of Sharm, I was quite glad of it. We took the very nice Heathrow Express train into Paddington. I don't understand why we can't have trains out to NYC airports like that. The AirTrain to JFK is good, but the pain of getting to Queens for it completely negates its benefits. Anyhow, we met about 10 of his friends at Carluccio's for dinner. Their style of humor, consisting mainly of teasing each other non-stop, took some getting used to, but I immediately understood why SE does it to me all the time. & it's funny when it happens to other people. His friends were really sweet to me & all said a variant of "I've heard so much about you," which is always music to a girlfriend's ears. I liked them a lot. It being a Thursday, everyone went home after dinner. People don't seem to do the weekday party thing as much as here.

Friday SE had some visa issues to sort out at the embassy so I had to amuse myself all day. After breakfast & getting very specific directions from place to place on the tube, , I set off on my explorations. First stop: British Library. I got distracted by Top Shop in Oxford Circus though. I'd read that it's a high street store & that Kate Moss had a line there, so of course I had to see for myself. (Sadly, her stuff was a bit out of budget.) I ended up with a cute polka-dot dress & black lace leggings. SE later explained to me that "high street" doesn't mean really good, as I'd thought, it means the shop is on every high street (meaning "main street"). Basically it's a more stylish H&M. After an hour I dragged myself away & onto the Tube. We love to complain about the subway in NYC but we still only pay $2/ride here & $7 for an all-day pass. The Tube is £4/ride & £5.10/day - that's $8 & $10.20 respectively! They have an unlimited Oyster card which is generally £1.50/ride, but I can't buy one online unless I have a London address so it's still much more expensive for visitors. The trains do come a lot more often, but there's no air conditioning on the trains & they are generally much further underground. I saw electric signs in every station keeping passengers updated about which lines were working, which hints at frequent problems, & though I didn't experience delays myself all the Londoners I talked to complained about unreliability. It's more of a problem there because cabs are also much pricier, so when there's a Tube issue, jumping in a cab is not as easy. Although the cabs are so much nicer I almost think they're worth it. They look really cool, like better PT Cruisers; they're roomy inside, so 5 people or fewer plus luggage can get in comfortably; you can have privacy or talk to the driver by pressing a button; lots of the cars have phones inside, like on an airplane except free; & there are often phone & iPod chargers built into a side panel. I want LTI, the carmaker, to come over here.

So where was I? Right, on my way to the British Library. It's a beautiful building inside & out. There's a very interesting exhibit called Sacred, about ancient manuscripts of Judaism, Islam & Christianity, especially the Torah, Qu'ran & Bible. I've always thought Arabic a lovely-looking language. & seeing it with gold leaf, calligraphy & painstakingly drawn details made quite an impression. I wish I could get a tattoo in Arabic but that would probably be a bit silly. As much as I love the concept of libraries, they get kind of boring after ~5 minutes if I'm not reading so when I was done wandering around the exhibits I made my way to the British Museum. I meandered around the Chinese, Central America, Japanese, Enlightenment & various other rooms. I checked on the Egyptian mummies, too - we didn't see any in the Egyptian Museum, go figure. They are super creepy & I stayed about 4 seconds, long enough to read the description, before I was too nervous to stay touching-distance from a very lifelike dead body. Eventually I got tired of walking around & being by myself in a strange city & decided to go home. I got off the Tube at Oxford Circus & that's when I realized that I hadn't asked SE how to walk from there to the apartment. I couldn't remember how I got to the station initially because I'd gotten lost & asked about 5 people. Plus my sense of direction is nonexistent. I didn't have a map & thought the apartment was northwest of the station when it was actually northeast & didn't recognize landmarks correctly so I spent about 2 hours walking around in circles with painful shoes. I couldn't call SE & was so clueless that when he called to see if I was coming home, I mistakenly thought I was almost there & didn't ask for help so I was unnecessarily lost for another half hour. At length I found the right street & got safely home. Fortunately we had a bit of time for me to gather my wits before meeting some of his friends at an All Bar One (it's a chain) on Henrietta St.

A few glasses of champagne sorted me out nicely. We went to Bar Shu on Frith St. to meet SE's old colleague & his current girlfriend. Bar Shu is an absolutely fantastic Szechuan restaurant, better than in New York - I was so happy. We all got along very well & continued on to Milk & Honey for a drink, where another friend of SE's met us. Since it was a Friday night SE wanted to see how the London club scene was doing & off we 5 went to Paper. We got a bottle of vodka - if you think NYC clubs are bad, imagine paying the same price in £s (= 2 x $s) - & one of Kahlua so we could continue with the Black Russians. Party girls in London aren't as cute as here, but they're as persistent & freeloading. Some slags attempted to pour themselves drinks from our bottles though we didn't know them. Plus they kept trying to talk to SE & slinking away if I came within eyeshot. I've been working on my jealousy & trusting SE more, so after the initial impulse to kick their flabby asses, I found the humor in the situation. The music was pretty good, I really liked SE's friends, & vodka + Kahlua + Red Bull is a nice potent cocktail. I tend to make crazy drinks if left to my own devices, since I can't really taste alcohol unless it's about 80% of the drink. Pretty odd considering my pickiness with food tastes.

We had a great night & came home at maybe 2:30. I couldn't sleep right away & dove back into Harry Potter. SE was woken up by sobbing then & 5 hours later when I woke up ridiculously early (as usual after drinking) & was finishing the book. I must have spent a good 1/3 of it bawling, which is not necessarily because sad things happen - don't want to spoil it for anyone - but how intense & emotionally involving it is.

The next morning one of SE's college friends took us on a walking tour of Westminster which was really interesting. We did some pub-hopping afterwards, saw my friend who moved to London 2 years ago, & had a nice casual dinner at Busaba Eathai on Wardour St. Thai food is hugely popular in London. I think people see it the way we New Yorkers look at Japanese - healthy, yummy & tasty. There are Japanese restaurants but not so many as in NYC. SE & I were very tired, so we went home in the rain instead of staying out even though it was Saturday.

We took a train from Victoria Station to his parents' in Sussex - I was pretty nervous since I'd never stayed at a boyfriend's family home before. They were very sweet & I tried to be helpful. His mother made toad-in-the-hole one night because I'd read about it in a book as a kid, Dahl's Danny the Champion of the World, & never had it. Sausages baked in batter, nothin' wrong with that. SE showed me around the neighborhood, his old school, the trees he used to climb, paths he used to ride his bike on, stuff like that; really cute. I can just imagine him as a boy getting into trouble & outwitting the other kids. He also took me to Brighton, which was cool because I've read about it in lots of books. I met one of SE's childhood friends with his new wife - good example for SE - & they were delightful, plus I learned some embarrassing things about SE when he was little. I'm happy I finally have some stuff to tease him about.

Tuesday morning we went back to London for lunch with his friend who's getting married in November. SE had told me lots about her, how they went to college together, were roommates with 2 other girls & he had a crush on her for a long time so I was a little jealous but once I met her I thought she was lovely & we got along very well. Later we met one of SE's old work colleagues at Ronnie Scott's, a famous jazz club on Frith which makes amazing drinks, before dim sum at the very fancy Yauatcha on Broadwick. It was quite good, maybe the not best in the world but they did a great congee & once I spoke Chinese to the waiters they were falling all over themselves to make sure we were happy. Then one of the best parts of our London trip - we went to Stringfellows after dinner! It's a very upscale strip club & girls can get naked in London, top AND bottom! I had a dance from a wife & wife team (or so they said) & some other hotties. Plus those girls know how to work a pole, oh boy. Flashdancers except better & much hotter. We had a really good night.

The next day SE did some touristy stuff with me; we wanted to go on the London Eye but the line looked too long. The Aquarium is right there as well [see right] - they have storm troopers on the roof! There was some crazy Star Wars exhibit going on.
There was also a Dalí exhibit in the same building so they had sculptures of Dalí paintings outside.
We decided to check out the London Dungeon, which looked delightfully scary. Fortunately we got a FastPass by the Aquarium & didn't have to wait too long. Now, it's quite cheesy & funny but if you're easily startled like me, it's terrifying. The actors jump out at you & wear ghoulish face paint that makes them look dead &/or severely injured so even when they're just walking around they're still awful. We learned about the Great Plague, torture techniques, the Great Fire, Sweeney Todd & Jack the Ripper. I enjoyed the real torture instruments on display but everything else was a re-creation. I was so scared that during the Sweeney Todd part, I refused to lean back in my chair as directed & missed the faux throat-slitting. Not a problem. At the end there's a "free fall" ride. After 1.5 hours of looking around nervously & getting the crap scared or startled out of me every 5 minutes I was completely demoralized, & although it was only a small drop, I screamed like a banshee. Of course they took a picture at that moment & I wish I could show you, because it's the most terrified look I've ever seen on my or anyone else's face. My eyes are popping out & my mouth is open so wide my jaw seems ready to fall off. SE recognized its comic gold & bought it, & every time we look at it we still crack up, it's so ridiculous.

SE showed me around Canary Wharf & the City (the financial area of London) after that. We rode the Docklands Light Railway & I saw bankers in their current preferred habitat. Business is increasingly flowing to the City - the dollar's weakness is really fucking NYC. I like the architecture there, especially the Gherkin, properly known as the Swiss RE building at 30 St. Mary's Axe.We had dinner with another childhood playmate of SE's at the best kosher restaurant in the city, Bevis Marks, because the friend is converting to Orthodox Judaism. I didn't know much about kosher & just figured it would be crappy like vegetarian food, but this place was great. The Thai crispy beef salad, matzoh ball soup, lamb & salmon were all amazing. Kosherness doesn't seem to make a difference in taste, it just restricts the kinds of foods you can put together.

Thursday, our last full day, we went shopping. First Harvey Nichols, where I had a severe case of sticker shock. Everything is so much more expensive there, they think a rack of £900 ($1800) & under is "on sale." My favorite wish was a luscious pair of leather ankle boots by McQueen with python trim & a skull zipper detail (sorry, Treo takes bad pix) that I really wanted... told my footslave about them. Obviously I didn't buy anything, & got bored perambulating so I went to check on SE who had succumbed to temptation & got a $100 Evisu t-shirt. Silly boy. We then visited the eyesore that is Harrod's - clearly money doesn't buy taste. Although, it's kind of fun looking at the horrible stuff & guessing what outlandish price it is. The most disgusting part was a Dodi & Princess Diana memorial that had an unwashed wine glass from their last night & the engagement ring he got for her the day before. That thing was an utter monstrosity. It's almost the size of my fist & covered in pavé diamonds with an enormous rock in the middle. The placard underneath said this was "proof of their love." Proof of bad taste & Daddy being a billionaire, more like. I would only call that proper proof if Dodi bought it on a janitor's salary. SE was annoyed with the spurious reasoning, though his opinions are a bit skewed when it comes to jewelry & big gifts like that since he's a banker & sees colleagues make those hollow gestures all the time while cheating on their wives. I don't know - I still believe you can do nice things & mean them. We're both cynical romantics but he leans more to the cynical side than I do.

Around 4 we met up with SE's college buddy who just got married (SE was best man & threw him a bachelor weekend in Krakow). He's really cool. Plus I heard some more stories about stupid or asshole things SE did, which wasn't always very comforting - I worry if he's really a changed man now - but hilarious nonetheless. We gathered more friends as we moved from bar to bar, ending up at a Wagamama. It's a yummy UK noodle chain that strongly reminds me of Republic in Union Square. SE said the one we went to was not representative of their normally high quality but I quite liked my ramen. Sadly, in America only Boston has the pleasure of Wagamamas at this point. We went to one more pub after dinner & then everyone headed home.

The next morning SE got birthday sex & I took him out to lunch & the Transformers movie. Liked the first 2 a lot. The Transformers were a little before my time & I hardly knew what they were growing up so I wasn't as into the movie as SE was. The story was also achingly stupid, but I thought the transformations were super cool & the leading ladies very yummy. That Megan Fox has a heartbreaking pair of legs. & Rachael Taylor was what I'd want to look like if I were blonde. SE was excited as a little boy & it was worth the £19.50 ($39, London is crazy!) to see that smile on his face. & that, boys & girls, was the conclusion of our grand tour.

Cairo: 7.5/10

I'm so bored at work that I'm writing these posts out longhand & typing them when I have time, which is why I'm posting a lot more than I thought I would. Continuing on... We arrived in Egypt very early & were greeted by someone our hotel sent. He didn't have to wait outside baggage claim; he walked us through customs in what would have been record time if the official hadn't looked at me & kept insisting "you China!" despite my American passport. After frightening me for a while he said he was joking & let us through. How amusing. At long last we were driven to the Mena House Oberoi, a lovely old palatial hunting lodge-turned-hotel. It is literally across the street from the Pyramids, as Giza is now an area of Cairo. We got a Pyramid view room. Basically, when we woke up each morning it was like, "Oh look honey, out the window!" We had a lovely spacious room with lounge area & lots of space for our bags. There were balconies for our French doors as well. It was fun to walk into the heat in the mornings then go back into air conditioning. I was pretty good this trip - for four weeks I packed a big suitcase & a tiny one only. Usually I need the big one for just a week so I was very restrained. We were exhausted after all the jumping off bridges & baiting great white sharks with ourselves so we had a very quiet first day by the pool. Other than the maddeningly persistent flies, it was lovely. The pool is an enormous oval & there's a guitarist who plays all afternoon. Sexy Englishman dozed & read The Elegant Universe, a gift from me, while I caught up on more Economists & Mind Performance Hacks.

I don't understand how Arab women can stand being so hot in those burqas. It was about 95° & I couldn't bear wearing much more than a bikini! (Although I did, of course, I'm not stupid.) I find it odd that a religion mandating so much black clothing popped up in the desert of all places, instead of Scandinavia or something. I guess it's because people wanted to wear so little that men had to be "protected" from temptation. Learn some self-control, boys, jeez. According to the Lonely Planet guide (LP), it is wise for a woman traveler to just say her male companion is her husband, because they respect married women much more. Since a good Muslim girl has to be a virgin for her wedding night, foreign women are their chance for easy pussy. LP also said to keep as much of myself covered as possible. SE wasn't quite ready for a Mrs. SE but my safety won out. He'd made fun of me all through South Africa for packing so many long-sleeved shirts & pants & I was finally vindicated when man after man stopped & turned to stare at me regardless. One guy even tripped in the street while walking backwards, staring. To be fair, I think part of it may have been that they never see any young attractive Asian women, only old Japanese & Chinese tourists, but it was still disconcerting & made me nervous. It was much funnier when hawkers jokingly tried to buy me from SE for outrageous numbers of camels - the highest offer he got was 100 million. Each one is worth ~$1000 so it's lucky the 7-year-old kid didn't seem to actually have any camels or I'd be trapped in some harem right now.

That first night we went to the Sound & Light Show "narrated" by the Sphinx. It's super cheesy & pompous, although it's cool to see the Pyramids & Sphinx lit up at night. We had dinner at the Mughal Room in the hotel which was probably the best Indian food I've ever had. We did the tasting course & each one was more scrumptious than the last. The mains, especially, were so good we wanted to keep eating even though we were totally full. Partly as a result of that plus all the sunshine earlier, we decided to take a disco nap before the belly dancing show at the hotel's nightclub later. LP said Cairo was the birthplace of belly dancing & had the best dancers in the world so I was extremely excited. I was so sleepy though, when SE woke me up at 2am I couldn't be bothered. The next morning we had a tour bright & early with Sharif of Abercrombie & Kent Tours. We grabbed some delicious (& amazingly cheap at E£3 = $0.55 for 4 sandwiches) falafel from Felfela & visited the Pyramids. We went to the 3 big ones by us, Khufu, Khafre & Menkaure.

They look a bit like step pyramids now because their limestone coverings & some of the inner limestone was taken to build other things, but they're still massive. Each block is about 1 meter x 3m & although Sharif explained how they were put together, it's mind-boggling. The current consensus is internal & external ramps winding around & around the pyramid & then disassembled. Contrary to what I'd read as a child, the workers weren't slaves, they were farmers keeping busy during the fallow season, given the very high honor of building Pharaoh's tomb. I guess if you want to call it that. We climbed inside the Great Pyramid & the most amazing thing was how smooth the walls were. I can't even get my head around the amount of labor it must have taken. When we'd had our fill of giant rock monuments, Sharif took us to a Papyrus store which was quite interesting & its curio shop which was not. Stuff in Egypt can look so tacky.

We stopped for lunch at Abou Tarek, which specialized in kushari, a noodle-type dish with spices which is pretty good. Then it was time for the Egyptian Museum. Sharif was in his element - he was a fount of information on the highlights of the Museum, as we obviously couldn't see every single thing in 2 hours. A bit overwhelming, actually - 2 hours of relentless lectures & not much walking around makes my eyes droop. My favorite exhibit was the diorite statue. Sharif said diorite is the second hardest material in the world, behind only diamond. & yet the ancient Egyptians carved 23 statues out of it. The weird thing is, we can't figure out how they did it. Apparently the only way they've been able to make a dent in diorite nowadays is with lasers, & they can't manage that level of detail either (nostrils, eyelids, etc.). Very mysterious. (A quick Google search revealed that Sharif was perhaps more patriotic than knowledgeable, as diorite is only a 6/10 on the Moh hardness scale & it is certainly not only lasers that can carve it.) It was also interesting to learn that silver was actually much more valuable in ancient Egypt because it had to be imported, whereas gold was so plentiful they buried their pharaohs with tons of it. Even a weak, short-lived king like Tutankhamen had a several gilded sarcophagi & a treasury's worth of gold. Maybe that's why their jewelry now is surprisingly expensive - they locked most of it away with dead people. My favorite part was the small pond outside the building with reeds & lilies which represented the papyrus & lotus of the kingdoms of Upper & Lower Egypt.

For dinner we went to Bird Cage at the Semiramis InterContinental, touted as the best Thai in Cairo. I don't know if that's true but it was certainly the best Thai I've ever had. We tried the chicken satay, crab & corn soup & crispy shrimp appetizers - then chicken cashew & spicy beef something after that, which were all fantastic. I could eat there every night. There was a belly dancer coming on later that night in the same hotel so we went across the street to El Mojito at the Nile Hilton to wait for her. However, we'd eaten too early - 8pm - & after 2 hours we were too bored to wait until 1 am for the show. We went home & I think we just played Scrabble.

On Friday we were really lazy, got up late & ended up sitting by the pool again. We tried Abu Sid, highly recommended by LP, & were extremely disappointed. It is not sumptuous or fit for a pasha & the food was ok but certainly nothing special, while the service was glacial & mixed up. I've had better meals at Le Souk in NYC. As it was our last night in Cairo, I was absolutely hell-bent on seeing a dancer before we left. SE was tired & tried to beg off but I convinced him by arguing that we'd probably never come back to Cairo & thus would miss out forever, & also I needed protection from the men. Fortunately for us lazy bums, the hotel night club was having a performance so all we had to to do was stay awake. When we got down there the audience totaled 12 people - including us. The singer soon finished & musicians began pouring out. it was like the circus act with the clowns popping out of a VW. We counted 19 people on stage! At long last the dancer herself came out. She was terrible. She had some basic moves, the requisite smile & was even pretty cute, but there was no rhythm or passion. Maybe she was a novice, I don't know. I was so disappointed I cried a little on our way back to the room. To his credit, SE comforted me instead of saying told you so.

Saturday we realized that we had forgotten to go shopping. We decided on the Khan Al Khalili bazaar as suggested by LP but when we told the cabbie where we wanted to go, he told us it was at least an hour there, plus Cairo traffic is horrible so probably it would be longer. We only had 2.5 hours total before we had to be at the airport so we were happy to take his suggestion of shopping near the hotel. I got some sheets, since people are always talking about Egyptian cotton, & we bought some cute clothes & jewelry. We managed to cross the street without getting run over - you think jaywalking is bad in NYC, you'd be horrified at Cairo. People basically walk whenever & wherever they feel like it, & there are hardly any stoplights. In any case we got what we wanted, although we didn't have time to get proper shawarma before our flight as I'd hoped. Our cabbie took it upon himself to stop & get us some, & wouldn't let us give him money. SE only had E£100 ($18.18) bills & said so when the driver stopped to get us drinks, but again he insisted it was his hospitality & that he had change for the fare of E£50, no worries. When we arrived SE gave him the E£100 & the guy just said thanks & started walking away. SE was like, No, I need change, you said you had it. It turned out he only had E£12 so we had to take that. This was one of the more egregious examples of how annoying baksheesh (tipping) is in Egypt. He clearly wanted us to tip him a lot, which is reasonable, but it sucks when people try to manipulate you into it. We might have just given him the extra 50 if it weren't for the fake "hospitality" & the bullshit about change. Don't call it hospitality when you have an agenda. We were also frustrated by how hard it was to get change. Whenever we wanted to break a bill they always asked if we had smaller, & on the frequent occasions when we didn't they were quite happy to pocket the excess unless SE got annoyed & walked away. LP said baksheesh is the custom for any kind of service but we got really tired of feeling fleeced all the time. In any case, we made it through both security gates (I suppose just in case we'd created a weapon in the 100 feet between the 1st X-ray/metal detector & the 2nd) & onto our flight to Sharm safely.

Victoria Falls: 7/10

We flew Jo'burg to Victoria Falls on Friday morning, 7/13. Zimbabwe kind of looks like upstate New York with less trees & more monkeys. Sexy Englishman had us at the Hotel Mercure Rainbow, which turned out to be not bad. We wanted to do activities right away, but the earliest thing we could do was a sunset cruise on the Zambezi so we spent a couple hours relaxing & drinking by the pool. The boat ride turned out to be a booze cruise with hippos, crocodiles & elephants. Apparently elephants swim from the mainland to the little islands in the river quite often to forage. SE & I made friends with some English backpackers on the boat, who invited us to a bar later (as if we weren't drunk enough already). Fortunately we had electricity when we got back to the hotel - it had been turned off before. We decided, probably unwisely, to eat dinner at the bar, which of course we forgot to do. Upon venturing out into the town we promptly got lost despite being told directions. We wandered up & down the main street several times until we decided that a pitch-black road was where we should be; happily, my misgivings were proved wrong when we got to Shoestrings. It's an expat bar at a backpacker's hostel, filled with aid workers, student travelers & assorted other (mostly white) people. Lots of fun. We found some Americans there, pretty much the first we'd met in Africa, & over-indulged in $1 beer & $2 vodka tonics. They love US money in Zimbabwe. Sadly, their Zim dollars are pretty much toilet paper. We got Z$100,000 for US$1 on the street, & according to an Economist published while we there we could have got Z$250,000. The worst part of the hyper-inflation for the citizens is that President Mugabe insists on holding the exchange rate at Z$250:US$1. There's now a "farmer relief" accelerator of 60, so it's 15,000:1 but that's still completely divorced from reality. The funniest thing about the money is that it has a sell-by date. I have a Z$100,000 bill in my wallet that is no longer legal tender, as it expired on 7/31. Good job Mugabe, we all totally believe you're not running your poor starving country into the ground.

The next morning we had a helicopter ride & bungee jump scheduled. Poor SE was much the worse for wear, while I was perky & awake at a ridiculously early hour. (I don't get hangovers.) He managed to make it through the flight without throwing up, fortunately. The Falls are gorgeous. They're the biggest system in the world. Their very appropriate Makololo name is Mosi-oa-Tunya, the Smoke that Thunders. It's amazing how deep & winding a gorge the Zambezi has made for itself. The falls come off a flat plain & that's it, the land looks like a
giant was trying to carve something out. An interlocked series of Zs maybe.

After we got back from that I put SE to bed with some tlc. He's never sick, I'm always the one who needs looking after, so it was really nice to be able to take care of him for once. When he woke up he felt much better & was excited, instead of apprehensive, about the bungee. Well, less apprehensive. I was jumping up & down with anticipation. When we got to the Vic Falls Bridge between Zimbabwe & Zambia it turned out that we could do 2 other activities as well, a gorge swing & slide. Of course little miss Adrenaline Junkie wanted to do everything, so we got all suited up & strapped in - they are reassuringly safety-conscious there - & stepped off the bridge into 4 seconds of free-falling terror. Basically there's a rope running across the gorge with another rope looped around it - we were on the 2nd rope. Once you fall enough there's no more slack & you start swinging off the 1st rope. That's the fun part. The falling is actually quite horrible, especially since we literally stepped off the bridge & fell feet first for what seemed like days. It was so fast we couldn't even scream. After it was over & we weren't dead we felt exhilarated though. The slide was a bit lame, great view of the gorge, & then it was bungee time. Now I was scared & SE was excited. I had a vivid recollection of my stomach being around my ears from 10 minutes before & almost wasn't sure I wanted to do that again. Bungee is better, though, because you "fly" off the platform & can see where you're going instead of falling. It was amazing.

We had a calm, sober night at the hotel. Their lapa was quite good & so was the Ndebele dancing, not that I know much about it. They have some scary-ass costumes.

We played Scrabble later - my 2nd time ever - & I managed to beat SE. He's very good at it so I was well pleased with myself. We went to bed early so we could go to the actual Falls early before our flight on Sunday, since we hadn't actually seen them up close. They were really wet, even though it was the dry season, & quite overwhelming in their sheer volume. I got my fill of rainbows & we got photographic proof that someone has taken the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Or maybe that's just in Zimbabwe - someone has clearly taken their electricity & water as well. We were told it was "rationing" to help the farmers but we had our doubts.

Las Vegas: 10/10

Sexy Englishman & I are finally back from our world tour. It's been a month exactly - towards the end I really missed New York. We started off in Vegas for 3 days from July 4. This time was so much more fun than my January trip with Nice Lawyer. We stayed at the Wynn, which according to SE (this was his 6th time) is the best hotel on the Strip. It was definitely my favorite as well. The decor is a bit Art Deco/whimsical Arabian fantasy, which I liked, & the staff are unfailingly attentive. Even if we asked the wrong person a question they seemed happy to steer us in the right direction. I loved our giant king-size bed & very comfy sheets. Oddly, the bathroom was the twin of the one at the Four Seasons. I can't imagine why that would be.

The tables are my favorite as well - last time we gambled at several different hotels & the Wynn was the best, & I wasn't disappointed this time. The dealers (we played blackjack) are very cheerful, like they're actually having fun as well. We were up & down during the 3 days, at worst down $2000 & at best up about $500 but ended up more or less even. Not too shabby. It got us one night comped as well.

This time I had the pleasure of discovering how great food is in Vegas. We went to Picasso at the Bellagio, which was amazing. Every course of the larger tasting menu except the main was absolutely heaven. Our mains were quite good, just not up to the standard of the rest. & the dessert! SE enjoyed his molten chocolate cake so much he told me he had a new love in his life. It's a pricey place but worth it. Plus you get to watch the fountain show every 15 minutes or so, although I wouldn't advise going outside during the sumer heat. It was over 100°F while we were there, & even though it's not humid, walking farther than the pool is really unadvisable.

We played blackjack the rest of the night, with a break in the middle for a little pick-me-up. On the one hand I feel bad for the waitresses having to wear those incredibly skimpy outfits, but also I really enjoy watching them. It's too bad Lovely Blonde couldn't come with us as originally planned, she would have loved it. We managed to get up around noon the next day & did touristy stuff like the Shark Reef (smaller than I thought it'd be, but pretty cool) & the Insanity ride at Stratosphere. That was an interesting view but it was too hot out & I got a bit nauseous. We escaped back to the wonderful air conditioning at the Wynn for dinner at SW Steakhouse. We had a great waiter, & the food was very good, but not quite as transcendental as Picasso. Their house steak sauce isn't good, which I noticed at Cut - Wolfgang Puck's place in LA - as well. I wonder why that is. You'd think they would do that the best. More gambling after dinner, neither of us having much luck. We kind of considered going to Crazy Horse but decided that it would probably just be a more expensive version of Penthouse, & it's not as fun with only 2 people.

Our last day we went to a shooting gallery. A friend suggested one, though couldn't remember the name or address except the general location but we tracked it down. American Shooter's Gun Club, 3440 S. Arville, is a no-frills shop & shooting area with a very comprehensive range of weapons. They even had Sten guns from World War II! One thing they don't really show on TV is how ridiculously loud guns are. Even ear muffs don't help much. SE thought I was a bit too excited about the guns but indulged me... we started with a .22 which we both learned to aim reasonably well & then progressed to a .357 Magnum. There really is no civilian situation where one would need a gun that powerful. It jumps a foot when fired, which makes precise aiming fairly useless, & it rips enormous holes in things. The paper target presented very little obstacle - as bloodthirsty as I am, I shudder to imagine what it would do to a body. It was fun at first & then the noise, recoil & powder burns kind of got to me. I'm really glad I got to try shooting for the first time though. & We saw a great visual argument for gun control as we were leaving. A guy was showing off his new $20,000 machine gun to his friends. That thing could fire a ridiculous number of rounds per second. Makes you wonder what kind of deer he thinks he's hunting.

The gun shop told us we could call a cab there, but could also call from the bar across the street with the added benefit of drinks, so we did that. We waited... & waited... played 2 games of pool & waited some more... in the most all-American bar I've ever been in. It was pretty interesting how many people were there on a Friday afternoon. Finally after 2 hours we got picked up. Went to dinner at Daniel Boulud's Brasserie in the Wynn, an ironically tony end to a rather redneck day. It was also very good - I was glad I ordered the signature short ribs. We played a little more black jack until we were almost late for the red-eye back to NYC. I thought I'd miss the scantily-clad waitresses bringing free drinks & I was right.

I've totally backslid on my resolution to party less & get more done. Well, I did get a lot done, just mostly not anything I actually needed to do. I visited my parents one weekend, which is always stressful, but it was great to watch my little siblings play tennis & hang out with them. One of my slaves - who has a serious glove fetish - took me to Sermoneta (58th & Madison) for opera-length black leather gloves... amazing. The leather is some of the softest I've ever felt. I wish I could wear them somewhere besides home. Sexy English Boyfriend & I went to the last movie of the GenArt film festival, He Was a Quiet Man. It was disturbing & thought-provoking, although a bit confusing at the end. & Elisha Cuthbert is beautiful. We liked it better than Crashing (the first GenArt movie). I partied Wednesday & Thursday with the girls, & Friday SE actually came out with me. We went to a fantastic Italian place in the East Village, Cacio e Pepe. We had the shrimp wrapped in bacon, pecorino & black pepper tonnarelli & bucatini. It was unbelievably good. Gin Lane & Cabanas at the Maritime Hotel were cool too - Lovely Blonde came with us & helped spice things up. We all danced together & after much experimentation, the best positioning seemed to be one girl on each side. Although I also really enjoyed being the middle of a SE-LB sandwich. SE & I went home kind of early after seeing LB off on her sexy little Vespa.

Saturday we celebrated a friend's birthday at Carne Vale, a churrascaria in the East Village. I really really love meat. Fashionista was being a nasty little bitch but it was great to see our other friends & meet SE's buddy visiting from London. We were supposed to stay & drink more with the birthday boy, but got invited to Scores East so the choice was clear. We joined our friends GQ Banker & Eurasian Beauty & some random people they were hanging out with whom we vaguely knew. Then came the highlight of the evening - no, the month, possibly the year! Eurasian Beauty & I got onstage! We made out, we were topless about a minute into our song & I knelt on stage & bent all the way backwards as EB simulated going down on me. Outside that I basically just did some of my hip-hop moves instead of trying to be a stripper. Oh my god it was so hot dancing with EB. After that we were so excited that we got carried away giving girls in our group lapdances. I'm surprised management didn't stop us. I still know I could never be a real stripper but it was so much fun. I'm quite an exhibitionist when I get the excuse.

Sunday was shopping & exercise-new-toys day. We were exhausted from being out super late the night before but we couldn't resist trying everything. Very very fun. :) This week has been a lot of work & partying - SE is in Poland for a stag weekend so I have to amuse myself. I've ended up hanging out with Eurasian Beauty & GQ Banker every night... GQB has been hitting on me again. He is the friend that had a crush on me first but then SE & I started dating. Friday night all our friends left first & we went to Flashdancers at 3:30 & I chatted with him & his roommate at their place for about 20 minutes before finally going home. I wasn't doing anything wrong but I know I shouldn't have been hanging out with just him. I was drunk enough that I didn't want to resist the male attention. & SE has been away 4 whole days. It is hard to behave... I guess it's good that I'm this reflective & concerned about it though. Last night I made a point of not meeting up with GQB when I could have. He was going to an afterparty at Room Service but when EB said she was going home I said me too instead of hanging out with just him again. Plus I know that I don't want to cheat on SE so I won't.

Yesterday was yet another banner day of drinking. My friend organized an East Village pub crawl, exactly like the one we did for Halloween, except this time he made it like a golf game. Each hole was a different bar with a special drink that was worth more negative points. We started around 3pm & by the time I left at 8:30 I was quite inebriated. It was really fun though. I met a very cute Asian girl & beat her at Connect Four. Also, even though I only played 7 holes I ended up about 11 under "par". I had dinner with Double Trouble & her friend at Wild Salmon, which is much better than the reviews led me to believe. I had the crab & corn chowder & then linguine with clams, both of which were really good. I guess all the liquor filled me up because I couldn't even finish my linguine! & I can eat a lot. Afterwards we went to Penthouse, my home away from home, & I saw one of the sexy strippers I met before & this time she gave me her #. She lost mine last time. Another girl took such a shine to me she got in trouble with management - she asked me to spank her but apparently we are not allowed to do that. Also she is not supposed to bite me (nicely). I saw this other girl who was so thin & sinuous & delicious I couldn't stop staring at her, but once she danced for me I could tell she had her eyes on the goal & that didn't include fooling around with me. Oh well. I started giving Double Trouble a lapdance & security was a little mad, since they'd already scolded me for doing that for the naughty stripper at her request. We were leaving anyway. Man I really love strip clubs.

I am really tired but I'm going to dance class. I have to look good when I pick up SE at the airport tomorrow... I miss him so much. I can't wait for him to come home.

my busy week

I keep trying to stay focused & get things done, but I'm very easily sidetracked. This past week was split between work, exercise, etc & stuff I'm not supposed to do. I had 2 sessions - one of my slaves brought me Godiva chocolates & a Barnes & Noble gift card as a belated birthday present, isn't that sweet? I also worked an exhausting promotion for a new VH1 show called Acceptable TV. It was not a well-thought-out way for them to reach their target young demographic but I got paid & I always enjoy analyzing how to get people to respond so that was fine.

Unfortunately the pay wasn't munificent, which is why it was so bad that I shopped. Last week I saw 2 of my friends wearing super hot dresses from American Apparel. Up to this point, I wouldn't shop there. I think I disliked the not-hot-enough models, then after I read the disturbing article in the NY Times about Dov Charney I definitely was not a fan. But these dresses were so good I had to check them out. I ended up buying 3 on Tuesday & 3 more on Thursday. They not only look sexy, they're about $26-36 with good, comfortable material. I can't go in there again for a while, it's too dangerous. Sexy Englishman helped by threatening (& carrying out) "punishment" if I shopped any more. Or maybe that was just an excuse for us to try spanking...

Even worse, I bought jewelry: I lost my favorite ring Monday, & I was kind of down all week so I went to Tiffany's & replaced it. I forgot that it was about $200 (had a gift card the first time), & I haven't exactly been economical lately so that was a problem. The other jewelry I got from a street vendor by my house, which wasn't as much damage except I'll pass him every time I go to the train & will need to tape my hands inside my jacket or something. I think I'm in that stage of being broke where it's gone on long enough to make me impulsive & restless, much more likely to say "oh fuck it" & just buy things instead of being disciplined. I'm usually really good about resisting temptation, so this is kind of scary.

I ended up spending a fortune on dinners this weekend too - Thursday I visited Fashionista at Lan where she just started working, & my dinner was $100. I guess I should have asked her first what the deal was. It's a fantastic resto in the East Village, & certainly not overpriced for the quality of the food, but I can't remember the last time I actually paid in full for myself to eat somewhere like that. I'm always on a date or someone rich is having a party. On Saturday Lovely Blonde very kindly accompanied me to a reception in Brooklyn for an art showing by one of my photographers. He takes pictures & then turns them into giant canvases, they look really cool & Warhol-esque. We took the train, not knowing we were venturing into Bed-Stuy! Nothing happened though, & the show went well. Afterwards we decided to take advantage of Brooklyn Restaurant Week & go to Blue Ribbon. It was really good, & the bartender gave us all our drinks, but that was another $100. Sunday was Fashionista's birthday & another wonderful, expensive meal at Lan. I got really pissed off for a few minutes because it was supposed to be $35 prix fixe & the bill came to $105/person. Alcohol is surprisingly expensive. I guess I don't notice usually because I rarely buy drinks. I forced myself to calm down & rationalized that it was her birthday & there was nothing to be done at that point.

I barely slept last week, what with having work early one day, being inexplicably unable to sleep one night, & staying out all night with Fashionista 2 nights. Got home at 9:30 this morning - her birthday was of course the occasion for indulgence on a larger-than-usual scale. After dinner we did gay night at Hiro, where I was admiringly called Naomi Campbell 3 times (I suppose because she's a quarter Chinese), & then a very noisy APT before the regulation apartment afterparty. I managed to make myself get up after a few hours' nap but I feel guilty for not getting much done & I'm trying to figure out why it's so hard to get myself home at a reasonable hour. I guess I'd rather go play than work on what I'm supposed to do. At least I manage to go to the gym & whip my ass into shape almost every day.

In happier thoughts, Lovely Blonde & I were virtually attached at the hip all weekend - we met up briefly Friday, then she went on the Brooklyn adventure with me Saturday & stayed over that night. We wanted to fool around but she had a tummy ache so we just snuggled. Sunday we wandered down to Soho & ended up at Kiki de Montparnasse & Agent Provocateur, which got us all excited. We both desperately want these adorable little vibrators at Kiki but they are crazy expensive. Afterwards we had brunch at Ideya with some friends of hers, then I had to go pick up my auntie from Penn Station. Lovely Blonde came to Fashionista's birthday dinner too & stayed out with us all night. We finally made out for the first time. Sexy Englishman was in Vegas for the weekend with some guy friends, & despite getting back late last night, joined us at the restaurant for a little while. We were so happy to see each other we had really hot sex in the bathroom. LB even joined in at first, but I think we all felt our first three-way should be on a bed where we could all be naked & have space. We are planning to go to Vegas some weekend soon, just the three of us. :)

Well, I only got 2 things crossed off my list today, but I'm going to the Snow Patrol concert with SE so I have to get ready. Another day semi-wasted...

birthday weekend extravaganza draws to a close

Yes, I'm a total princess & celebrated my birthday all weekend. My friends pulled through for me & made it awesome. I could have relaxed, it would have turned out great anyway - I have to learn how to be calm & let things work themselves out a lot more. Friday was very upsetting because Tech Exec disappeared again. He upset me already Wednesday at the client dinner, & we were supposed to have plans Saturday which I wanted to confirm except he didn't respond to me all day Friday. I don't know why I was surprised he started acting a fool again. So I was trying very hard & failing not to be depressed, when my friends Fledgling Designer & Cute Gay Guy were like come on let's have dinner! They took me to an adorable & yummy izakaya (Japanese tapas) called Kasadela in the east village & were just so sweet & cheerful that I perked right up & finally started having fun. We bounced around from China 1 to Lotus to Remix afterhours, & then hung out at CGG's house as usual.

Saturday, Nice Lawyer took me to Macelleria, where we shared the porterhouse & people looked at me strangely for wearing a little black dress & my new Proenza Schouler boots. It was very cold but I wanted to dress up. We had a drink at the Gansevoort while waiting for my friends to figure out where they wanted to go, then joined them at Double Happiness for more drinking. We popped downtown to some house party that turned out to be at my ex-boyfriend's building - freaky, we were on the floor below his! - & after frantically digging for our coats for about 45 minutes, we finally arrived at Penthouse with Fledgling Designer & another friend of ours. It is my favorite strip club & that night was absolutely amazing. Most of the time, even though that's the best club in Manhattan, I would say 50% of the girls are smokin' hot. Saturday, it was 80%. Like knock me over with a feather, drop-dead gorgeous. I got lots of lapdances & I was so excited, it's a good thing Nice Lawyer isn't pushy or I might actually have slept with him. He isn't much for staying out late & opted to go home when the rest of us decided on Korean barbecue after Penthouse said, "Gentlemen, put your dicks & wallets back in your pockets, it's closing time!" No they didn't but it sounds funnier that way. My friends laughed when I kissed NL good night & sent him on his way & said I was truly sadistic - it was his choice though, he could have asked me to come home or stayed out. & I was so hot I probably would have gone with him. Instead we ate like little piggies & that was good too.

Sunday I went to the gym, saw Prince Charming there, got several happy birthday phone calls & texts from unexpected people, & picked a nice outfit for dinner (Chanel skirt + see-through glittery black top). It ended up being 10 of us at Porcão, my favorite Brazilian steakhouse. Yes, I had meat all weekend & I like it that way. Dinner was so much fun!! Everyone got along famously, everyone was sweet to me, & I think someone told them to make my strawberry caipiroskas especially strong. So yummy. Afterwards we went over to Young Entrepreneur's loft (one of the hot guys from a prior post) since he's a few blocks away & drank some more. We were going to try for Milk & Honey but got distracted. & then, the high point of my whole weekend, his flatmate Sexy Englishman came home. We had bonded over books at their super bowl party the weekend before but their other friend was hitting on me & I didn't know SE liked me so I didn't really think about it. He emailed me the next day though, & asked me out a few days later for Thursday this week. On Sunday we started talking & realized we were really into each other. I decided to stay a bit longer & not share a cab home with the erstwhile favored friend. We were talking in SE's room - at one point he just leaned in & kissed me, & after extensive making out I ended up staying the whole night. We didn't do it although we fooled around all night. Literally. We fell asleep from exhaustion about 45 minutes before he had to get up for work.

Which is why I'm posting at such an ungodly early-for-me hour... I fell asleep again after he left, & just got home now. I can't remember ever being this into a guy (except maybe Prince Charming, but he's so flaky I've learned not to pay attention to those feelings). He gets me sooo excited & we have so much in common & I'm thinking about him right now with a smile on my face. We just find each other completely fascinating & yummy & keep discovering new adorable little quirks. I told him my current celibacy rule - no sex before we're in a relationship - & not only did he not pressure me about it the way Tech Exec did, he was totally sweet & understood without me having to explain any of the bad things that have made me that scared. I think this might be my new boyfriend. Wish me luck!

yo shorties, it's my birthday!

Yay, it's my birthday!! I was actually really depressed all week because I'm freaked out about getting older, the birthday weekend extravaganza planning was a huge headache, & a couple other bad things happened, but my close friends were such sweethearts last night that I am actually happy about my big day finally. They are throwing me a little "surprise" party tonight & I have to go get dressed for dinner with Nice Lawyer before that so I will tell you guys all about the festivities later!!

my girl likes to party all the time, party all the time...

That's such a funny sounding song. I've been out a lot, I guess celebrating my return to halfway decent health... Friday I had a busy bee day. I went to the gym, ran errands, had a fabulous lunch at Rosa Mexicano with Fashionista & our friend Fledgling Designer, ran more errands, & then hair appointment. Afterwards I was supposed to have dinner with Jewish Princess & her guy, but she inconsiderately forgot to tell me that they were eating at home & were pretty much done. She's been really irritating lately. Her life is in upheaval & I've been doing her a ton of favors, & it's not that she's not grateful or a lovely person but I just do not have the time & energy to take care of her. She has no conception of time or money & keeping her life in some sort of shape is a full-time job. I can't deal with it any more. Also, her boy wants to have a 3-way with a domme & we talked about that maybe being me & I think she freaked out that he's so attracted to me. We decided against it after some fraught conversation. Anyway, we went to a party in the West Village where I met up with Fashionista, Cute Gay Guy, Girlfriend & a bunch of other friends who don't know each other, so it was a really fun random party. I saw Shopping Buddy, whom I haven't seen in ages (poor girl lives in Queens), & met some hot guys who know another friend of mine. We ended up at CGG's place & I got home around noon the next day.

Saturday was a bust for that reason - Fashionista was having a tapas party at 7 so by the time I woke up from my nap all I had time to do was chat with Girlfriend on the phone & take a shower. F is a terrific cook! For some reason I was not hungry so only could eat a few bites. Finally the Girlfriend came out with me & met my other circle of friends. & Tech Exec came by to see me there... he apologized for everything, begged forgiveness & basically tried to demonstrate how much he loves me & wants me back. Later we went to Cielo & then I was finally hungry but Pastis wasn't serving anymore (at 2:30, I don't get it, thought they were 24/7) so we got takeout at his house. & I steadfastly refused to sleep with him or do anything, which was the worst possible punishment. He was incredibly frustrated, though I reminded him that I don't trust him & I am not sleeping with any guy until I'm in a committed relationship. I'm surprised he's actually willing to go through all this. Maybe he's for real this time.

Sunday was a fun, drunken super bowl party at the hot guys' loft. I discovered that I really like one of them, who's English & a banker. I also kinda like his friend though, who definitely wants me. Then Fashionista dragged me downtown & we ended up falling asleep on this girl's couch watching L Word - I know, lame, we didn't even fool around. We woke up & left around 11 & I've been so tired & cold all day that I woke up again around 5pm & stayed in to practice. I guess I don't party all the time.

back in freezing cold

So my first trip to Vegas was pretty fun... Nice Lawyer & I stayed at the Four Seasons which was as wonderful as one would expect. We went to Tao at the Venetian with some of his friends on Friday night before playing blackjack at the Wynn. It was great - Jewish Princess gave me $50 for roulette to put on black & let it ride twice, & she won! NL & I were lucky the rest of the night. All of his friends ended up down about a grand each & we were up a little (I was telling him what to play). When we left they made fun of us, saying we were the worst blackjack players ever, which was probably just sour grapes. We all had fun dancing around the hotel room & drinking the minibar afterwards.

On Saturday we got massages & my masseur hit on me the whole time despite calling me Mrs. [Nice Lawyer] the first half hour, & we lazed around watching tv most of the afternoon. Finally we got it together to go see the huge Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay next door. They told us to go up & to the left, but neglected to mention it was a quarter mile to the left! I was wearing my new Chanel skirt & 5-inch Gucci stilettos because we were going to a show later, & it was very... interesting to keep walking & walking without any idea of how much farther it was. When we finally found the place, a) we had to buy tickets, b) there was a line for tickets, & worst of all c) there was no exit close by. It took us so long to get there that we didn't really have time to go in, & we had to walk all the way back to the lobby to get a cab!! I was almost whimpering by then.

Off we went to the New York New York for the Cirque du Soleil show Zumanity - "the sensual side of Cirque du Soleil" - which was very cool. Some parts dragged a little but my favorite parts were the giant champagne glass with the 2 mostly naked girls doing acrobatics in the water & balanced on the edge, & the girl in the schoolgirl outfit who did tricks with metal hula hoops while hanging from a long rope. Oooh & also there was a part with a dominatrix who stalked around cracking a bullwhip. We tried baccarat & more blackjack but the luck was not with us that night. We got back to the hotel in time to watch the very exciting Federer-Gonzalez match, which Federer won in straight sets despite Gonzalez putting up quite a fight.

Sunday was more lazing around & room service, then I flew back here in the afternoon. It was a pretty low-key weekend. I managed not to sleep with NL or do almost anything physical at all, which was exactly what I planned. I'm not being a tease, I just don't want to sleep with him & become all emotional & then get crushed again, after what happened with Handsome Young Guy & Tech Exec. I'd rather take it slow & protect myself a little. We talked about it - he seems to appreciate just spending time with me & is being very patient. & now I've been to Vegas, baby, Vegas!! :)

it's a cold Sunday night...

& I'm actually home watching tv. I was out very late last night though. I had a tummyache all week, which was at its worst on Thursday, so I haven't done much other than read & practice & watch TV. Did go to Suba with Nice Lawyer, his friend & Fashionista on Friday - the service was extremely slow but our food was pretty good. Checked out this hookah lounge Kemia at 9th Ave & 44th St. afterwards which was also cool. My new friend Lovely Blonde organized the party. I met her last weekend on her birthday, actually. She's hot & bi (as all of my girlfriends turn out to be). Hung out with her last night too. We were with her boy & his guy friend, went to visit Dancer where she was bartending, & then stopped by Penthouse. I do love strip clubs. I gave my number to the hottest stripper there... we'll see if she actually calls. :)

busy party bee

So, lots of partying & dating recently... there has also been some drama with the formerly wonderful Tech Exec, as he disappeared entirely until recently. It seems like he wants me back now but he had better not ever fucking do that again. Will post more when I see what happens. I've also been dating Very Tall Guy, Nice Lawyer, & Grandpa Lawyer (the guy who took me to lunch at L'Atelier). I've had a crush on VTG since we met 2.5 years ago, & it turns out he had one for me too, except I had a boyfriend then. He took me on our first real date on Saturday. We went to a sexy yummy tapas place in the East Village, La Paella, had another glass of wine around the corner & then hung out at his place for a little bit.

Nice Lawyer seems to be completely infatuated with me, & it's even more fun because he's a bit submissive & has a foot & shoe fetish too. We went out twice last week, last night & tonight - he took Fashionista & me to Porçao on Sunday, which was absolutely amazing & fantastic as always. Mmmm I love all types of steak. I exercised my authority last night by walking out when I saw him talking to a girl at the bar. He spent half an hour on the phone begging for forgiveness & swearing up & down that he wasn't doing anything & only wants me. I know I overreacted & probably just caught them at an unfortunate-looking moment, but I thought he was trying to pick her up & I couldn't help being furious. We made up today & I may go to Vegas with him (somewhat platonically) at the end of the month for his law firm thing. I decided not to sleep with anybody until I'm in a committed, exclusive relationship, & hopefully I'll be able to decide between NL & VTG at some point in the near future.

Grandpa Lawyer took me to L'Impero in Tudor City on Tuesday. Oh my god that place is fantastic... it's one of those fancy Italian places on the upper east side with incredible service. GL is way too old for me but it's fun being treated like a real princess. I guess I have to end it soon though.

Here are the lovely Louboutins my client brought me today:


Aren't they adorable? I wore them out tonight. As my footslave said, now I have the big three: Choos, Manolos & Louboutins. Oh I love shoes so much. Especially ones with very tall spike heels. I'm so glad I have a slave who caters to my fetish.

I've been exercising hard all week & forgetting to eat every day except dinner. I'm super skinny but I gotta stop doing that... I worry that I'm getting skeletal again. It's probably also because I end up staying out late almost every night with Fashionista. Speaking of staying out late, on Sunday I finally saw the Girlfriend again! It's been a long time. She's not so busy now & hopefully we'll hang out more. We really missed each other.

In professional news, my band is on iTunes!!! I still can't quite wrap my head around it. Things seem to be looking up in 2007. :)

happy holidays!!!

I've been partying nonstop since I got home from Aruba so sorry for the delayed holiday wishes. Lots of drinking, dancing & debauchery with my friends at various places. I am going to be a more focused & career-oriented woman this year though. I have a good feeling about 2007.

Catch-up

I've been a very busy woman lately. Let's see: Hedge Funder is permanently out of the picture for blowing me off when I didn't want to play with him one night. I've never slept with him & even though he says he's not dating other girls I don't trust him, so even if I weren't getting deeply involved with Tech Exec I wouldn't do him. I'm actually glad to see his true colors now, before undue complication.

I had the most fantastic lunch at L'Atelier de Joël Robuchon in the Four Seasons with this old guy Jewish Princess & I met when we had that crazy night a few weeks ago. The food is amazing in every way, at least to my untutored palate. I have never liked foie gras but after having it in several dishes there it might be my new favorite thing. Maybe it's even good for me, I have very low blood pressure anyway. We had the langoustine, chestnut soup, quail & scallop appetizers with hanger steak & steak tartare. The prices are astronomical for the amount of food - the bill was $350! - & it is worth every penny. (To be fair, it wasn't my money.)

I discovered when we went out on Thursday that Tech Exec broke up with all his other girls for me. [See also my semi-drunken post on this.] We went to Pastis with his friend/colleague & that guy's girlfriend, where TE could not keep his hands off me. Literally, he was kissing me every five seconds & trying to cop a feel so I had to keep reminding him that we were in a nice restaurant. We were totally the lovebirds everyone rolls their eyes at, saying "Get a room!" I don't care - I've been pretty starved for affection my whole life & someone who's not afraid to show his feelings is refreshing.

Less happily, not one but two dates walked me to the bus at 4am, earning them disfavor forever. Not broke guys either. Friday night was scary because I was tipsy, reading my book quietly, & this old guy came to sit by me & ask about it. I tried to politely rebuff his advances but I was afraid he'd make a note of where I live. Fortunately nothing happened. But what kind of guy lets a pretty girl go home on the bus at that hour? It's not safe. If he's poor & doesn't have $10 for cabfare then ride up with me. If he has $10, what the fuck. It's not a matter of feminism, it's looking out for my safety even if I'm broke.

Saturday I had brunch at Paris Commune with a new guy, Nice Lawyer, & ice-skated at Chelsea Piers. It's so much fun! I was doing pretty well until they started playing Beyoncé & I got too excited. I'm a good dancer but movement is different on ice, as I discovered to my chagrin when I fell spectacularly on my ass & elbow, knocking the wind out of me. There was a collective "oooh!" from everyone - all of whom had until this point politely pretended not to notice most mishaps. You know it's bad when that happens. I'm fine though, it was super fun.

Later I went out with Fashionista for another adventurous night. We were supposed to go to a party on Park Ave. South, & grabbed a bite at Sushi Samba 7 first (closer to her house). That's where I met the hot Asian model/financial consultant. F & I ended up hanging out with him & his friends the rest of the night & having a great time. Financier/Model & I have a lot in common - tattoos, taste in jewelry & women, & love of books, to mention a few - & I think I like him a lot. I kinda feel torn between my strong feelings for TE & my obvious wandering eye. Just the eye though, I was good. Also, F/M is so hot & has been around so many incredibly gorgeous women that I almost think he must be a player. His high assessment of my beauty is a bit baffling too. He called me on Sunday & Monday so at least I know he's trying to be sincere.

Sunday I had Treo problems. Basically, through my own stupidity, incompatible software & the second broken Treo 600, I lost several days' worth of notes & spent a couple hours talking to the insurance & phone companies. I managed to regain my zen after a few hours though, & took Fashionista to Resto Manager's restaurant to hang out (at his invitation). It was an uneventful night until he walked me to the bus.

I had a fitness evaluation on Monday where I learned that I've lost another 1% body fat. Yay!! I had a session with my favorite footslave after that - we had a lovely time catching up after all these months & he brought me the most beautiful silver Manolos.


Afterwards I met up with some of my girlfriends - Dancer was bartending & I brought Fashionista, Brooklyn Hottie & her friend, & Pixie Mistress who rents space at the same dungeon as me. Everyone got along famously! It was so wonderful to watch my friends hitting it off - they all actually ended up exchanging numbers. Totally awesome. We hit up Café Noir later, the Room, then Odessa Diner & finally I dragged my ass home around 6:30.

So now you're all caught up! I've been sitting in the Aruba airport waiting for my family for the last six hours because of some flight delays or cancellations. Not sure what's happening but it gave me a chance to remedy the neglect of my dear readers. Fingers crossed for me that they're on the last flight in tonight...

[Update: at the airport, a nice (non-Dutch) guy lent me his cell to call my parents & then offered to drive me the 7 miles to my hotel if they didn't show. I guess it's a good thing my family arrived so I didn't have to find out if he was a psycho killer.]

action-packed week

I've had the craziest week of working, shopping, partying, fucking & exercising. Let's see - Tuesday was the GenArt sale & capoeira with Brooklyn Hottie, all pretty fun. We got some sushi on St. Mark's place afterwards & Tech Exec met us there & then we (TE & I) went to his apartment nearby. He is such a stand-up guy, especially compared to my ex - if that had been the ex, he would have just said "come over when you're done." Instead, TE came to hang out with us, grabbed the check away, & insisted that we take a cab the three blocks to his house because "princess, you're shivering." He calls me princess because I mentioned I love that nickname the first time we met. More importantly, he generally treats me like a princess too. He called himself my boyfriend that night, which was really sweet. & he has more energy than I know what to do with. We got home & had sex twice before bed, he woke me up at 3:30 to do it again, & if he hadn't overslept we would have done it before work too.

Wednesday TE took me & Fashionista to a client dinner at Buddha Bar. The food's great there, although the place is a little loud. I was talking to his boss by the bar while we waited for our table & Tech Boss says, "I see why [he] is falling for you more & more. But don't tell him I told you that." I was like wow! I really didn't take TE seriously before, knowing that he dates a lot of beautiful young models & is quite the player. Lately with all that's been happening, I'm starting to look at him differently. Anyhow, I made sure the clients had a great time, intelligent conversation-wise, & TE & I somehow stumbled home (don't mix red wine & copious cocktails) & pretty much had sex all night until he had to get up a couple hours later. His firm is signing a contract with those very same clients next week, which makes me feel like I helped.

Thursday I had a session with a strange guy who may have been high on coke. It was fun despite that - I got to break a cane on him. Well, he did ask me to cane him bloody (I did not, too dangerous with a new client). Then I had one of the best shopping trips of my life. There was a crazy Sigerson Morrison sale, where all the shoes were $60 or $40. These shoes retail for $350 & up - one pair I bought was $515. Made me wonder if the inventory fell off the back of a truck. I picked up only 2 pairs after some disciplined decision-making. Next stop: my favorite consignment shop, Ina, where I got a Michael Kors leather jacket for $125, fierce Burberry cargo pants for $75 & an incredible S&M-looking big purse by Jennifer Scott for $150. It's embossed leather that looks like crocodile & has all these straps & hardware. I love it so much I've been carrying it around every day even when I don't really need to. Although everything was a ridiculously good deal, it was still a lot - I think I got too excited by Sunday's cash.

Thursday night I wore the new pants & jacket out with Hollywood Ex & Jewish Princess, whom I was trying to set up. JP was extremely not zen. She got especially frazzled because of the bitter cold & I felt terrible because this was HE's first time meeting her & she was basically being an ass. I did explain to him that she's usually not like that. She went home early, he went back to his hotel after we had a drink, & I met up with Cute Gay Guy. We ended up at Guesthouse & Home where I discovered that I, too, can choreograph! I made up a club-friendly Sexyback dance (the combinations we learn in dance class generally require too much space) & almost got into a fight with a big guy I rejected. I politely gestured no thanks, I was dancing with CGG; the gorilla grabbed my arm really hard & shouted something I couldn't hear over the music. I wanted to shove him or something but I could tell he was at least 3 times stronger than me so I contented myself with screaming at him not to fucking touch me. Very scary. It reminded me of a quote from The Gift of Fear: "At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them." Good thing he walked away & we left shortly thereafter. Spent the rest of the night hanging out with CGG & talking about everything... really meant to go to dance class at 11 but I left his apartment a little too late & was too jittery to do a good job dancing, so I wisely opted to take a nap instead.

Friday I had an orchestra rehearsal in NJ & then a fashion party back in the city. Took Brooklyn Hottie, who pulled out all the stops to look super sexy. We went to Crobar after, where we danced a lot, even on top of the bar for a couple minutes, & met a cute bartender. BH stayed over (platonically) & we went down to Chinatown for lunch the next day. I had a liquor promo that night, & I was so exhausted from my very busy week & lack of sleep that I just went home afterwards. Today has been a lazy day. I did dance class & have been napping for the last 5 hours. TE finally got back to me - I hadn't heard from him since he said "Love you miss you have a great day Princess" Thursday morning - saying he was flying out to the clients from Wednesday. I was worried about him before, & now I'm a little pissed that he was too busy to say hi for 4 days, but he seems to take his work ultra seriously so I'll wait & see what happens when he gets back. It sucks because I was just starting to take him seriously & I feel like this is a huge step back. Anyway, I have got to get at least something done today. 'Til next time...

adventures in NYC nightlife

Sorry for not posting - I had a long weekend, as usual. Thursday night I had a session & a date with Brooklyn Hottie. We tried this new place in Soho called Bar Martignetti. It was their opening night & the place was packed with beautiful people. In the chaos, though, the kitchen lost our food ticket & we sat there drinking for over an hour. But the waitress & manager were super apologetic & surprisingly, took care of our entire bill. The food is great French bistro style, kind of like Odeon in Tribeca, & it all worked out for the best because the place is not exactly easy on the wallet. Afterwards we heard Junior Vasquez spin at Ultra (he rocks!) & went home early.

Friday was clubbing with Tech Exec, his boss, client & some British girls. We hit Nikki's in midtown & then Manor, where I ran into Handsome Young Guy & he apologized for being an ass. He was inordinately (& a bit puzzlingly) excited & happy to see me. We had a good talk, he wasn't back with his ex as I had heard, & who knows, we might go out again. Thank goodness his table was all the way in the back & TE's was near the front, or we might have had a repeat of the HYG/Hedge Funder fiasco. Went home with TE, who really impressed me with his stamina. He is inexhaustible! I had to tell him no the 3rd time after we got home because I was sore. I know he's a player but I don't think I've ever gone out with a guy who was so sweet & reliable. Not quite sure what to think - he's said some things that make me think he's modelizing for fun until someone serious comes along. I don't know, my intuition isn't the best when it comes to guys.

Saturday I went to martial arts yoga class & then lunch at L'Annam with an old friend/date. We went out about 3.5 years ago but nothing really happened. It was fun to catch up & oh my god the food is good there. The beef sate appetizer is so yummy & my chow fun was great too. Next stop: Barrow St. Bar with Fashionista for the USC v. UCLA game. I don't care about football - in fact, I think it's kinda silly for men to run around wearing pads & deliberately crashing into each other - but I wanted to support her since she loves USC so much. It was fun though. We ate buffalo wings, she drank beer, we yelled at the tv & basically acted like guys. After that we were about to get into a cab & go to a party until the guy getting out, Young Pretend Mogul, charmed us into joining him & his identically named friends. Fashionista & I ended up zooming around the city with YPM for the next several hours as we enjoyed interesting substances. We bounced around some East Village places & ended up at a karaoke bar, where I managed not to strain my voice too much. After closing time all of us - about 10 people at this point, including Cute Gay Guy - traipsed over to Fashionista's. It was a lot of fun except YPM started acting more & more like an asshole. It was strange because at first he was so charming & nice & totally into me & as the night progressed, I could see his true colors coming out. He wouldn't stop squabbling with F & CGG, the kind of serious squabbling that you get scared if your parents engage in, which was weird because it was too early to stop trying to impress me. Being nasty to my close friends is not on my list of desired qualities. Also he was very shady about himself & later I found out some jackass stuff he said to other people. In any case, it was amusing to see the microcosm of what our relationship would have been like without the bother of actually spending all that time & emotion on him. He probably would have hurt me so I'm glad.

I got home around noon today, whereupon I took a quick nap before my session. It was an outcall with a friend - I was really worried even though he's a long-time client of hers. The thing about outcalls, which is why I don't do them, is that a guy who has that much money to throw around is going to expect a lot for it. I'm not a wuss anymore, but it's hard to keep saying no & enforcing my boundaries. Fortunately everything turned out all right & we walked away with a small pile of cash. Now that you're all caught up, I'm going to go enjoy my KFC & crash.

interesting weekend

Sorry for the lack of posts... I've been busy working & partying. I started doing liquor promotions for a couple top-shelf brands, I've had 3 sessions with the same client since Wednesday (apparently I am a "genius" at his fetish), & I've gone out every night until dawn while still exercising every day. Hmmm. In retrospect, I probably should have stayed home some nights. Oh well. Thursday night I went out with some girls who weren't cute enough to get into Cain's 2 year anniversary party, so for the first time ever, I was ruthless & ditched them. I felt terribly guilty, since I've never ditched anyone before, but we're not that close & I made up a pretty good cover story. I'm going to make sure that situation doesn't come up again though. Friday I hung out with Brooklyn Hottie & then I was bad & ate very very late at Popburger with Resto Manager. (I've disciplined myself out of eating late at night, because it makes one fat & increases the chances of acid reflux.) He is incredibly sweet & I think maybe he could be a good boyfriend.

Saturday I spent most of the day with Jewish Princess, who is a sweetie but absolutely the definition of a trust fund baby. We got our night started a bit too early - really shouldn't have taken E before dinner, as it stole our appetites - but you know me, I'm the Energizer bunny when it comes to parties. She went home after the 1st club & I continued on to this hookah lounge on the west side to hang out with one of my exes, Fledgling Magazine Mogul. I thought he was over me but apparently we are not just friends yet. I was cruel & let Tech Exec & his friend come get me, although in my defense, I was rolling out of my mind & barely remember much of FMM's earnest pleas to give him another chance. TE & friend & I dropped by Cielo & I subsequently slept with TE, despite intentions to the contrary, also a result of the E. It was pretty hot, actually. We sat around chatting & destroying brain cells line by line until I went to dance class at noon. The rest of the day was spent snuggling/fucking/sleeping on TE's giant sofa.

Oh, in case anyone is keeping track, Handsome Young Guy has been out of the picture for about a month & a half. No badmouthing - I just believed his intentions were better than they were. On the one hand I miss having a boyfriend, but I think that my ex & HYG burned me pretty badly & I'm kind of gun-shy right now. (Cue Beyoncé's "Irreplaceable", my new song obsession: "I can have another you by tomorrow / So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable.") There are a couple guys in the picture, & hopefully the Girlfriend will be around more when she finishes school in a few months. Brooklyn Hottie is lots of fun too. I don't know, I just don't really take girls seriously for romantic relationships. The girls I "date" are bi anyway so it's not like we're really going to run off to NJ & get married. That's not to say that I wouldn't, I just haven't met that girl yet.

This has been your update in my crazy life. I'll be in Florida with my family for the rest of this week so I might not post any. Happy turkey day, everyone!

P.S. This is the 100th post - hooray. :)