Buddakan

Last night Tech Exec invited me to a business dinner with his client/friend at Buddakan. It was really good. The shrimp dumplings are yummy, chili rock shrimp is crunchy delight, & charred filet & miso black cod are fantastic. They have some delicious & amusingly-named cocktails as well. Not sure how things will play out, but I can say with certainty that TE likes me a lot so we'll see what happens.

punk-ass clients

This hasn't been a busy month for me as a dominatrix, probably because my schedule is so circumscribed. Last weekend, though, on top of all the Halloween festivities, I had a session on Saturday & Sunday each. Saturday was Talkative Sub, who is pretty easy. He always wants to "indulge [my] sadistic side" & bond with me, blah blah blah. All I have to do is beat him at a steadily increasing level of intensity with a variety of different implements in an empathetic, caring way. It's nice because I don't need to talk much to him. He's a little annoying, but a reliable client & always obedient. Sunday was a very demanding guy. He's into all this sick perverted stuff (although fortunately not requiring much from me other than making him do it) & is always trying to take liberties. I had to be very firm with him. I call him a punk because he's old & wears a diamond stud in his left ear like he thinks he's cool or something. At least I demand a shitload of cash for dealing with these guys.

Halloween madness!!

My Goddess of Perversity costume was quite a success, judging from people's reactions. I wore a backless leather couture top, a lace-up leather miniskirt, a collar that says "Queen Bitch", several spiked wrist cuffs, & these boots:


I went on an early pub crawl with other very dressed-up people in the East Village, which was super fun. There was one adorable girl who kept telling me how she was totally straight but I was such a beautiful Asian princess & Lucy Liu had nothing on me. A nice ego boost. I also met a smokin' hot girl, Brooklyn Hottie, at the last bar. I took her to my friend Petite Lawyer's party, which was supposed to be open bar but wasn't, so Tech Exec picked us up to go to the Skin party at HQ, a new strip club in far west Chelsea. Now that party was off the hook. I'd actually been invited by that cute couple I met last week, so it was good that TE was going anyway. People were crazy there. Most of the women were topless & they weren't even the strippers! I danced my ass off & let BH take care of me while I was rolling... in fact, at one point 6 of my friends (who were also rolling, except for BH) were all petting me. That was uniquely fun.

The Prestige

I was blown away by this movie. It is far & away the best I've seen all year. Every single actor does a bang-up job, the story is suspenseful & surprising, & the cinematography is gorgeous. There are lots of twists in the plot & the script is so well-written that it just seems organic & not annoying, as it very well could have been. Basically it is about 2 magicians, Angier (Hugh Jackman) & Borden (Christian Bale). For reasons I won't give away, they become archrivals. They keep messing with each other, each time escalating the destruction, although they both know they have got to stop. Unfortunately, neither can, & there are several tragedies along the way. The dénouement was a nailbiter & a complete surprise.

Scarlett Johansson & Piper Perabo are wonderful as supporting actresses. The costume & makeup department made them absolutely beautiful. David Bowie also does a surprisingly good job as Nikola Tesla, accent & all. It was so exciting to watch Angier & Borden go back & forth, one-upping each other, losing all sense of proportion in their obsession to beat the other. The director, Christopher Nolan, perfected his backwards technique for this film. He starts with the end & goes back to explain it, jumping around a bit along the way, but much less confusingly than in Memento. The story definitely demands attention but at the end I pretty much understood everything that happened. I don't know how much more I can say without giving away plot twists so - go see it! It's fantastic!

The Gift of Fear

Just finished this book by Gavin de Becker. It's about how fear & our intuition tell us things, but we've forgotten how to listen. It's not as foofy as that sounds. He starts with examples where people had a bad feeling & ignored it & awful things really did happen, like a woman who reluctantly let a guy help her carry groceries into her apartment & ended up assaulted & almost murdered, because she didn't realize what her intuition was telling her at first. De Becker moves on to show how people's behavior gives clear indications of what they're going to do, & it's a matter of whether we choose to pay attention. He discusses ever-increasing levels of danger, from creepy dates through domestic violence to assassination attempts. The last chapter talks about when we should listen to our fears. There certainly is such a thing as worrying needlessly, & once we understand what it is we're really afraid of we can evaluate those fears & live much more calmly.

My favorite chapter was about people (men especially) who won't take no for an answer. I love that he laid it out clearly. "Stalking... is a crime of power, control, and intimidation very similar to date rape. In fact, many cases of date stalking could be described as extended rapes; they take away freedom, and they honor the desires of the man and disregard the wishes of the woman." We are allowed to simply say no! I can't believe something so fundamental has escaped me for so long. From what my girl friends have said, I think a lot of women think this way - we feel we must be nice & let guys down easy & give them excuses for why we don't want to see them. That is actually counterproductive, according to de Becker. Anything except "No, I am not interested & I will never be" just gives that kind of persistent guy the wrong idea. It's so simple & yet so foreign to American society. I am incredibly glad I read this book before it was too late.

Halloween costume

I decided to be the Goddess of Perversity this year. I was just going to be a dominatrix (without telling people I actually am) but I thought this sounded more original. I also recently finished Bram Dijkstra's Idols of Perversity, which was a real eye-opener. Since I'll basically be wearing my domme outfit with more accessories, I'm not sure how to "perversify" it... I think the title will just be for conversational purposes. After an extensive Google search the only name I can come up with is Eris but she's the goddess of discord. So I suppose I will create my own mythology. Ideas, anyone?

gay marriage in Jersey!!!

New Jersey has basically allowed gay marriage!! (See the NY Times article.) They're not sure they want to call it that yet, but the court has ruled that gay couples must have the same marital rights as the heteros regardless of name. This is so exciting! I guess this means if the Girlfriend & I ever get married (though that's unlikely) we could just go over to NJ instead of all the way up to Massachusetts. In any case, I'm really happy for all my gay friends.

utterly exhausted

I haven't posted much this week because I'm so tired from partying all weekend. Friday night I went to a friend's birthday party & met some nice people including a very handsome Irishman who works at Lehman & a cute couple. The couple invited me to a party on Saturday where I met their (also handsome) friend, Tech Exec, & let him come downtown with me to Fashionista's house where she was throwing a party for Cute Gay Guy's birthday. We got there at 3am so everyone was leaving for the next place, but not before Handsome Young Guy unexpectedly came home & saw me with TE. Of course. TE was just trying to put his arm around me but I'm sure that didn't help. (It's been a bit rocky between us - HYG has a new 16-hour-a-day investment bank job & I think maybe he's wondering if he wants to be in a relationship so soon after his last one, so we haven't talked much lately.) This is like the 5th time in the 3 months we've been going out that he's met another one of my guys or ex-boyfriends. I feel bad, & I wish I could tell him I'm not being physical with anyone else, but it was his choice not to be in a relationship yet.

Anyway, he wasn't coming out with us so we went to Cute Gay Guy's house, but there was drama so Fashionista & I picked up supplies & hung out at TE's house. Nice quiet powdery fun. I left at 10:30 because I had to get to exercise class, before which I made the mistake of taking 2 Tylenol PM to try to come down. I literally fell asleep in class. It wasn't even yoga or meditation or anything like that, it was called Speedball. Then I ran to my voice lesson, & tried to go to dance class after. I realized that was a mistake when I couldn't follow the very simple footwork the teacher started with. Instead of embarrassing myself further I went home. However, since I was completely exhausted, I fell asleep on the bus & woke up when we were 2 miles beyond my stop. It took another half an hour to get home. All this week I've barely been sleeping, so in a nutshell that is why I've posted very little & fall asleep all the time everywhere.

women & science

Check out this NY Times article: isn't it amazing? Basically they did a study in Canada where they gave women 2 math tests & an essay to read in between. Women who read that they are bad at math because they're women did twice as badly as those who read that scores are different because men & women are taught differently or that there is no difference between the sexes in that respect. Cosmic Variance analyzes the data more thoroughly. But basically, reading that we do badly in math because we're women is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm shocked that such a little thing has such a huge impact.

homemade shuriken

I found this site online that shows how to make all sorts of cool origami things, including a throwing star (shuriken). As a martial arts junkie, I felt honor-bound to make at least one. Here's what it looks like:

Isn't it cute? It doesn't fly straight but that is probably due to it being made out of thin notebook paper. It actually wasn't too hard to make either, the directions are very clear.

another late night

Every time I go out with Fashionista it ends up being a long, crazy night. Last night was no exception. I hung out at her apartment with some of her other friends & Handsome Young Guy when he came home, drinking wine & vodka & watching Project Runway's finale. Fashionista gave me Sergio Rossi ankle boots to wear because I only had sneakers. Technically I'm just stretching them out for her, because they're size 7 & she's an 8 1/2, but I'm a 7 so I don't think they're ever going to be stretched enough for her - hehe. Finally we were ready to go & went to Annex. There was a lot more drinking & other stuff before Fashionista & I ended up in Brooklyn at her friend's house. I basically went to bed at 4:45 & got up for work at 8:10. That might be a big part of why this post sounds so disjointed... that & the stifling heat in the building making me fall asleep. Also the very boring & tedious docs we're reviewing. Back to the grind I go.

Dawkins interview

Just found this thought-provoking interview with scientist Richard Dawkins in Salon through Pharyngula. He discusses why he is an atheist & how it is the logical, intelligent position to take. He is the author of The Selfish Gene & The Blind Watchmaker, among other books about evolution. It's nice to know that there are still thinking, questioning people out there.

annoying old people

I got to exercise class late on Monday. It's a very tough class that involves a lot of jumping around & lunging & hoisting a medicine ball through different positions. It was also really crowded & I got several dirty looks for joining in. Then this old lady, maybe 60-ish, came in after me. She didn't do the exercises. She'd just kind of stand there, halfheartedly lifting a ball once or twice, lunging about 2 inches forward, that kind of thing. I wanted to scream at her. "If you're not going to do the exercises then stop taking up space! Don't just stand there getting in the way!" It was really clear after about 5 minutes that this was not the class for her, whatever the reason was. Plenty of other people left when they figured that out. She was so irritating, standing there like a fat deer caught in shouted commands.

fitness

I went to my second fitness test today... I've lost 3% body fat in 6 weeks & almost an inch in circumference. Not quite at my goal yet but at least things are improving. My trainer is very happy with me, even if I'm still disappointed. Although I do have completely unrealistic expectations so I guess I should average our reactions.

isn't it romantic

I was in the subway the other day & saw this sign:

It says, "Melissa, met you here Wednesday, 9am. Lost your number. Email me at" [redacted]. How adorable is that? I wish more guys were romantic like this.

shoe comparison

Yesterday I noticed that Future Lawyer has really big shoes. (We are just old friends so I don't know about the corresponding part of his anatomy.) It struck me that my sneakers could wear his sneakers & after saying so, we decided to see if it was true.

Halfway there...

Hah! It worked. That's my other little sneaker next to his big ones. We had a very funny 5 minutes trying to photograph this phenomenon clearly.

fun with toys

Today was toy shopping day... Future Lawyer friend is visiting for interviews, so I've been showing him around the city. After visiting Babeland, we went by that new store, Kiki de Montparnasse, in Soho. It's gorgeous. They have some cool clothes, but the accessories are really the draw. They have all sorts of things, from glass dildos to sex jewelry & elaborate bondage kits, even discreet little cameras & camcorders to spice things up, which are so tiny I thought they were toys at first. In particular there's an adorable Leica, smaller than the palm of my hand. I was really lusting after the Samsung Handicam too but it's $650. Everything in the store is so expensive you'd think it was plated gold - which, in fact, some of the vibrators are. They've got some other naughty things that you should probably see yourself on their site. Today was also fun because Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts was throwing a party there so as we walked in we saw a bar & lots of cute girls & a couple women dressed as dommes. I don't know much about the school but it definitely made for a unique shopping experience.

rent comparison

Found this site yesterday through Lifehacker: rentometer.com. It's cool, you put your address in & it tells you how your rent stacks up to other apartments in your area. It works for places outside New York too. I was happy to reaffirm that my place is a good deal.

street art

I fucking LOVE this Parisian graffiti (via Gawker). The modeling industry summarized in one classic picture. This should be the official poster of afterparties.

haha

I've been reading this comic all day: http://xkcd.com. It's smart & nerdy & funny & helps this interminable day pass.

sexyback redux

I finally got Sexyback... & promptly noticed that in the bridge he says "I'll let you whip me if I misbehave." How cool is that? Of course technically he should say "Please Mistress whip me if I misbehave" but as soon as I heard that it became my new favorite song. I can't wait to do it in dance class.

Margot Fonteyn

I've almost finished this book about Margot Fonteyn, which is a good thing because I desperately need sleep. (I do most of my reading in bed, in an attempt to fall asleep.) I am currently obsessed with ballerinas & ballet, so much so that I just stay awake reading even when it's 5am & I have to get up in 2 hours. I'm also obsessed with going to hip-hop dance classes at Equinox but that's another subject.

Meredith Daneman has written a meticulously-researched biography of the great ballerina. She's an engaging writer & frequently quotes Margot's friends & contemporaries in a way that makes me feel like I'm right there with her. I was really enjoying myself, following Margot's career & all her triumphs, until she married Tito Arias. The more I read the more upset I get. Did Margot really think her marriage to a philandering, unsupportive, political bumbler was working? I almost can't believe that she watched him run around seducing tons of young women while she was dancing her heart out making money for his ill-conceived revolution. He couldn't even be bothered to care about her performances. Right when she finally starts considering divorce, one of his political rivals shoots him. He becomes quadriplegic & instead of taking her leave, Margot chooses to become a martyr. She continues dancing to pay their bills despite being in her fifties & takes care of her lousy husband like a saint.

I wish I could say I don't understand why she stayed, but I do. I stayed with my ex-boyfriend way too long as well, & though he didn't abuse me quite as much as Tito, it was transparent to everyone but me that he was a terrible choice. I guess it's a lot harder to be objective about a situation when you're in it. Anyway, the book is upsetting me, but it's well-written & makes me love dance even more, if that's possible. I wish my mother had made me take ballet class when I was little - I'd be a lot better at it now. Well, that's why we have hip-hop & jazz & all those other less stringent styles. :)

gmail access

For all of you working at corporations that restrict email access, here is the backdoor into gmail: https://gmail.google.com/gmail. Apparently I was the first to think of this when I started working here in July. It's like quietly bringing the truth to a totalitarian régime... I feel like part of the Résistance under the Vichy French.

sweet waitress

On Sunday after dance class with Dancer friend we got some food at Yakitori Taisho on St. Mark's. It's this busy, crowded Japanese place that serves lots of appetizers as well as some main dishes & it's very yummy. The funniest part, though, was that when the waitress took my AmEx Butterfly card, she brought it back to me taped up. This is a credit card that folds up into a holder on my keychain. I love it - it lets me leave my wallet in my overstuffed purse. Although every time I use it, I have to tell people it's supposed to bend because otherwise they freak out & think it's broken. Now, I have been using it for at least 3 months & never once, anywhere, has it been brought back to me meticulously taped up. I was touched by how sweet our waitress was while at the same time annoyed because I had to pull all the tape off. Dancer & I had a good laugh about that.

dearth of posts

I have to go back to document review at the same giant corporation next week, so I will post more then - this weekend is all about organizing my place, finding the ever-elusive new cheap giant apartment, & exercising as much as possible. I'm overdoing it, I know (hurt my ankle in dance class today) but I'm worried I won't have time to exercise as much with increased legal work. Ah well. Incidentally, check out Showtime, they're doing a promotion so it's free through Monday. That show Dexter is phenomenal. The book rocked & somehow the show captures it perfectly. Good night... tune in Tuesday for more interesting posts.

fall shows

Showtime is doing a promotion this weekend which introduced me to the joy of Dexter. It's based on the killer book by Jeff Lindsay. Somehow the show captured Dexter's awkwardness in social interaction without making it too uncomfortable to watch. Michael C. Hall does a fantastic job portraying an amoral, highly intelligent, well-meaning killer. I'm not as enamored of his sister, who is whiny & asks stupid questions. I think that's a minor script problem which hopefully will be fixed as the season goes on (I only saw the first 2 episodes). I'm also impressed by the tasteful way they show the bodies. There are lots of gory scenes which are really quite bearable. Too bad I don't have Showtime & will have to wait for the DVD to come out.

I also like Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. It's witty & the characters really draw me in. It's fun watching Jordan battle her ex-husband's outlandish allegations while fighting to allow Matt & Danny to write quality material despite focus groups, "crazy Christians," & other assorted philistines. Of course it also helps that everyone in the cast is very easy on the eyes.

bringing sexyback

I hate Justin Timberlake but I will have to get that SexyBack song. Yesterday in class we were in plank (basically a pushup you hold at the top) & it came on & I couldn't help dancing a little to it. Twitching, really, which probably looked funny. So I give in, I'll get it.

Went to dance class with my Dancer friend today... it was hot sweaty sexy fun. We did a lot of super dirty moves & I got most of them when I focused. (Of course she got all of them & looked awesome doing it.) Afterwards we had some appetizers at Republic, one of my favorite places in Union Square, & ended up meeting this very good-looking guy. I feel a little bad because he liked me better than Dancer, but we all had a great time chatting & drinking at Blue Water Grill. Oh & Handsome Young Guy left me a cute message about how work is killing him. With all this male attention I feel much better about myself now. :)

Science of Sleep

Saw the Science of Sleep yesterday... it's a very bizarre movie. Gael García Bernal's perfect sense of comic timing made it quirky & amusing instead of just weird. It still didn't make much sense, but at least it was funny. Basically Bernal plays this strange man-boy Stéphane, an artist who is always confusing dreams & reality. He ends up living in his mother's building, falling for his neighbor Stephanie's friend, then switching to Stephanie. He tries to win her heart in various ways while also trying to keep his job. This is difficult because he misses work a lot as he dreams intensely of her. There are lots of confusing scenes, but it's a fun movie if you're in a good mood.

HYG update

Cake was even more fun than I thought it would be. Handsome Young Guy loved my outfit, & the Girlfriend showed up as a happy surprise for me. She's so adorable. Usually Cake parties are kind of tame, some girls make out but there isn't really any sex. I tend to have a wilder time but that's just me - everyone else pretty much behaves. This party was a marked departure from that. We saw a guy eating a girl out on top of a banquette, a couple going at it in the corner, & I ended up doing a girl in between dancing with her & HYG. As you can imagine, this brought HYG & me... closer. We basically spent most of the weekend together. He took me to dinner with a bunch of his old friends & their girlfriends last night, but said he wasn't ready to dive into a relationship so soon after his last one. It seems like we're kind of moving towards that, but until I get the girlfriend title, I guess I can keep going out with other people.