Monday, August 28, 2006

Snakes on a train

This morning I was standing on the train reading when I heard what sounded like loud hissing, until I figured out it was a lot of s sounds with the rest of the words barely subvocalized. I looked around but no one's lips were moving. Finally I saw that it was the guy sitting in front of me reading to himself. I stared at him in disbelief for a while, because it was so goddamn loud & really seemed like it was coming from a giant snake 3 feet to my left in the middle of the train. Maybe he was an amateur ventriloquist. It was so disturbing, everyone would glare at him, look away in disgust, & look again as it continued relentlessly. Some of us even made eye contact over the strangeness of the situation. At the next stop, a seat opened up next to him. I had a lot of stuff so I sat down. After another 3 minutes of this crap, I tapped his shoulder & said, as nicely as possible, "Could you please read silently to yourself? Thanks." He nodded very fast, all twitchy & weird, but was much quieter for the rest of the ride. Before I became a dominatrix, I would never have had the guts to say something, & maybe it sounds a little bitchy, but it was absolutely intolerable. Especially at 7am.

Oddly enough, the same sort of thing happened on the PATH train. I sat quietly minding my own business, & this guy stood in front of me hissing. I don't know if maybe he was trying to get my attention. He seemed a little slow, so I didn't say anything. It was so bizarre. He stood there for 20 minutes going, "Ssss ssss..." I would almost rather have been traveling with lethal snakes, all this nonsense was so annoying.


Anonymous said...

probably just another guerilla marketing things unleashed... the movie is positively camp, but the website and all its bells/whistles are a lot of fun!

Renaissance Diva said...

Oh no - these were random weird men. They just had problems, I think. I loved the website too - I sent all my friends the phone call thing. Thanks for stopping by!